


Rachel Black Comes Home

by billie878



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Imprinting, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Charlie Swan, Bella Swan Bashing, Book: Eclipse, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Family Secrets, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Forks Washington, Good Parent Charlie Swan, Imprinting, Imprinting (Twilight), La Push Washington, Love Confessions, Pack Dynamics, Post-New Moon, Quileute, Romantic Soulmates, Shapeshifting, Sisters, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Strong Female Characters, Twilight Renaissance, Vampires, Werewolves, Wolf Pack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29912268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billie878/pseuds/billie878
Summary: “I'm bound to you for life, Rachel Black. The first time I laid eyes on you, right here, I haven't been able to sleep without seeing you in my dreams. I can't do anything, I can't breathe without thinking of you. It's driving me insane, It's driving the guys insane just listening to me..." He trailed off, closing his eyes for a second. Then opening them again, boring them into my very soul. "Wherever you go in this life, I'll be right there. Whatever you decide to do, I'll support it. If you tell me turn away right now and leave you alone, I would. But," sucking in air between his words, pleading with me now "Please don't tell me to go.”****The love story Rachel Black and Paul Lahote deserved.
Relationships: Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Harry Clearwater/Sue Clearwater, Jacob Black/Bella Swan, Rachel Black/Paul Lahote, Sam Uley/Emily Young
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7
Collections: Twilight FanFiction, Twilight FanFiction Collection, Twilight: Wolfpack Fics





	1. Coming to La Push

**Author's Note:**

> The Twilight Renaissance of 2020 allowed me to rediscover my love for the Quileute characters in this saga. For awhile now I’ve been dabbling here and there reading different fanfics surrounding these wonderful characters, and these stories crafted by other fans out there gave me the inspiration to write my own. Jacob Black’s twin sisters were almost non existent in the movies (or books really) but I want to bring one specifically to life. Rebecca is married in Hawaii, but Rachel is returning home for the first time since her mother passed away years ago. Will she enjoy her time in La Push, seeing old and new faces; or will she run away the first chance she gets?
> 
> This story takes place post-shape shift Jacob, Sam, Jared, Paul, Quil and Embry. Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel Black impulsively drives to La Push to visit her family after her lonely lifestyle becomes too much to handle.
> 
> ALL characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. I’m only responsible for bringing them to life.

_(Rachel)_

It had been three weeks since my college graduation, a big part of me felt accomplished, prideful of the years of work that were now behind me. A smaller part of me, though, felt disappointed. Throughout high school we were told getting a degree would open doors for us. There was no greater achievement in the world than a degree. It had only taken me three weeks to realize that wasn’t entirely true.

My shift at Payless was thankfully almost over. I decided to take on this second job two months ago when I began struggling to pay rent on my own. With Rebecca in complete house-wife mode down in Hawaii, I really didn’t have anyone I could lean on here. The bags under my eyes made that apparent.

I had been desperately trying to find a job with my computer engineering degree. Every place that I called would say “We don’t have any positions open right now, miss, I’m sorry.” Usually that would cause me to hang up the phone without even saying “Thank you, anyway.” The constant feeling of defeat was something I don’t think I’d ever grow used to.

Continuing to reorganize shoes on the shelves, I tried to escape my self-loathing. “Get it together, Rachel.” I could hear my twin sisters voice say. “Everything will work out in the end, it always does.” I could see her warm smile in my mind, her lips usually painted with mauve lipstick. Mauve paired so well with her copper skin and overcast eyes. 

Thinking of her made me want to walk down to Ulta after my shift, pick up the first mauve lipstick I could find and take it home with me. I wouldn’t wear it, I unfortunately didn’t have the time for makeup anymore, but I would put it on the bathroom counter just so I’d feel like I had some kind of company at home.

I huffed to myself at the thought.

The shelf was now beautifully organized, I stepped back to admire my hard work. I took pride in my work, no matter how small or insignificant it may be to others. People came through these aisles hundreds of times a day, never thinking twice about the work that goes into making everything look presentable.

I’m sure when they looked at the person organizing these shelves they didn’t wonder about my life at home, or the kind of day I had, they just see me as someone to ask “Do you have this in a size nine?”

Checking the time on my phone I realized my shift was over, I stepped aside and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My long black hair was long overdue for a trim, harsh lines were forming on my face. I looked so much like my mother. Rebecca looked like mom, too, but sometimes I felt like it didn’t bother her the way it did me.

Maybe it did, but at least she had people to distract her from it, when Rebecca looked in the mirror happiness radiated from her. I was lonely, and everyone around me knew it.

“Going home?” My manager finally asked. I didn’t realize how long I was looking in the mirror, probably long enough to make him wonder what I was thinking about.

“Yeah, I should’ve clocked out a few minutes ago, I’m sorry. Could you fix my time sheet for me next week?”

He nodded. I walked to the back to collect my things from my locker and headed out the front door. The dreadful department store music muffled out behind me and the cool breeze of a September evening smoothed against my face.

Once my car started the radio began playing quietly. It was nice to finally sit down by myself and take in the beautiful sunset across the parking lot. Mixtures of yellow, blue and pinks danced across the sky. It reminded me of La Push, it reminded me of sitting on the rocks with Jacob and Rebecca. 

I’m sure right now the air at La Push tasted like salt water, I closed my eyes and thought about the view from my old bedroom window. Sometimes there’d be a distant bonfire on the beach, illuminating the night sky and sending a small plume of smoke into the air. The smell of burnt driftwood would linger in the air for a few hours, and that truly smelt like home.

Home, I thought.

Home wasn’t my third story apartment. Home wasn’t where the whole kitchen was painted white and grey. Home wasn’t where my bedroom window view was another apartment complex.

I suddenly longed for the smell of a La Push bonfire. I longed to wake up to my mom frying eggs in the kitchen, my dad sitting in his favorite recliner in front of the TV watching some kind of ball game and drinking cheap beer. I longed for Rebecca and I teasing Jacob about crushing on Charlie Swans little girl. A smile crept on my face, but it faded away remembering I longed for things that were long gone.

My mother wouldn’t be frying eggs early in the morning, my dad wouldn’t be sitting in his favorite recliner, and Jacob wouldn’t still be crushing on Charlie Swans daughter.

Still, I thought, maybe something good could come from a small visit to La Push. It’s been years, and knowing that made me feel guilty. My dad would call every few weeks, but sometimes I’d be so busy with work and school that I’d forget to call back until days later. I could hear the sadness in his voice, the loneliness. I knew what he felt like, and it killed me to know he felt like this.

Jacob would chime in on a phone call with dad sometimes, just to say “Hey Rach, miss you.” Dad said he was always too busy, or that he was out with his friends. It made me happy to know that Jacob had friends, I’m sure growing up with twin sisters helped give him some kind of idea on how to navigate through friendships in his life.

When I backed out of my parking spot, I didn’t drive to my third story apartment. I drove without thinking of my two jobs or my useless degree hanging on the wall in my bedroom. I drove thinking about my dads loneliness, I drove thinking about the empty space my mom left in the tiny red home in La Push. 

I’ve been what feels like all over the world trying to find her in other places, Rebecca even suggested I move down to Hawaii with her. I contemplated the idea, but couldn’t handle being a third wheel with my twin sister and her new husband. Maybe once their honeymoon phase was out of the way.

As I drove, the beautiful hues of yellow and pink disappeared into the depths of the night sky. More stars than I could ever count were visible now, I never saw this many in the city. Or maybe I just never slowed down enough to notice them before, but they were breathtaking.

La Push was now about six hours away. I hope dad wouldn’t mind me knocking on his door around two in the morning.

*****

My eyes were so heavy it hurt to keep them open. I gave myself a mental pat on the back for being able to remember directions so well. For some odd reason, it felt like a force brought me all the way back to La Push. 

Something had grabbed my heart strings and pulled me all the way here from Pullman. A part of me wondered if it was my mom. Did she know how lonely and unhappy I was? Or did she know how lonely and unhappy dad was? Maybe this was her way of taking care of us in the next life.

My car came to a halt, I switched off the ignition and rubbed my face with the palms of my hands. I needed sleep desperately. Once the colorful clouds disappeared in my vision from rubbing my eyes a little too hard, I saw a man walking toward my car. A little bit of panic rose in my chest. Quickly, I locked my doors and watched as he continued to walk toward my car.

The man was shirtless, in a pair of cutoff blue jeans. From what I could tell her didn’t have on shoes, either. Ouch. I grabbed the pepper spray I had in my glove compartment and patiently waited for him to try and mug me or something. I didn’t recognize this man at all.

Except when the man got closer, I saw the boyish features beneath the hard exterior. This wasn’t a man at all, it was my little brother. I unlocked my car door and leapt out. “Jacob!” I cried.

“Rach?” He asked suspiciously. Before he could say anything else I flung my arms around him. His hands were huge on my shoulder blades, geez this kid had grown. How long have I been gone again!?

“Jake, you’re massive...” I backed away, completely taken aback. “I’m twenty-one and you’re bigger than me! You’re supposed to still be scrawny and, and your voice is supposed to crack when you talk, right? What the hell Jake!” I laughed now and shoved him away playfully. I saw a smile cross his lips.

“A lot can happen in four years, Rach.”

Four years. That’s how long it’s been. The guilt rose inside of me again and I looked at my feet.

“Wait, it’s two in the morning, why are you awake and outside half naked?”

He looked back at the line of tall pine trees beside the house, my eyes followed his. It was almost as if he could see something I couldn’t.

“I was working out,” he finally said “how else do you think I got so buff?” He said jokingly. It made sense, I guess, so I let it go.

The lamplight from the porch illuminated the driveway. From what I could see, nothing on the outside of the house had changed. I’m sure the inside was no different. 

I could already smell the peppermint and tobacco, I could picture the small kitchen cupboards in my mind. I tried to take it all in mentally before I asked to come in.

“Is dad asleep? Do you think it’ll give him a complete heart attack if he woke up in the morning to me on the couch?”

“Oh, it definitely would. Let’s go inside and I’ll try to wake him up.” Jacob then looked at my small car curiously. “Did you bring anything with you, Rach?”

Oh, I guess I hadn’t thought of that. I only planned to stay for two days, though. So I didn’t really need much. I’m sure between Rebecca and I there’d still be some old clothes in the closet of our old bedroom. 

Remembering the days of sharing a bedroom with my twin sister made me cringe and shiver all at once.

“Uh...no, I didn’t. I’m only staying for the weekend.”

“Alright, dad will still be thrilled.” He smiled lightly and went for the door, slowly opening it. The old door creaked and hit the yellow colored wall behind it.

It still smelled like peppermint and tobacco, I thought. The light above the stove was on, giving a small glow to the countertops. Moms old decorations and trinkets still lined against the wall. As I walked closer to them I could see how desperately they needed dusting. Something I’m sure dad nor Jacob ever thought about.

Jacob was gigantic in this tiny house. It was almost comical, and I still just couldn’t wrap my head around how damn tall the kid was. He had to be over six feet tall.

I’m going to have to talk to him about how bad steroids are for your body tomorrow. As he walked down the hallway to dads room, the pictures on the wall vibrated as if they’d fall off the wall at any second.

“Dad?...” I heard Jacob whisper quietly. “Dad...”

Dad groaned quietly in response.

“Rach is in the kitchen.”

“What? Rachel?” Dad said sleepily. The hope in his voice was thick, but the undertone sounded as if he was afraid he’d misheard Jacob.

“Yes, Rachel is here. Just Rachel, though. She drove here.” I heard the bed creak loudly as Jacob sat down on it. It’s a wonder the bed didn’t hit the floor.

“Help me get up, son.”

****

Jacob finally wheeled Dad into the small kitchen. The kitchen was so tiny, though, that Jacob had to stand in the hallway while dads wheelchair faced me. Dads eyes full of love and hope. They glistened with tears in the lowlight.

“Hi, baby.” He said softly and smiled warmly.

“Hi daddy.” Those words brought hot tears to my cheeks. Saying them over the phone was one thing, but standing here in front of my lonely, aging father was another. I wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders and held him there for awhile. 

I took in the scent of his Irish Spring soap. A smell I had completely forgotten about. It reminded me of sitting on the floor with Rebecca, watching TV. Dad getting out of the shower, smelling like Irish Spring and sitting behind us on the couch. He would braid Rebecca’s hair first, and then mine before bed. 

Thanks to Sue Clearwater for sticking around and showing him how to take care of two young girls the way a mother would.

Finally I pulled away. The smile never left his face. “Sit,” he motioned toward the small kitchen table. “I’d love to catch up.”

Once I pulled out a chair and sat in it he wheeled beside me. Jacob was finally free from the cramped hallway. The sweat running down his forehead gave away the claustrophobia he must’ve been feeling.

“I have to go,” Jacob broke the short silence. “We can catch up tomorrow, Rach. I hope you don’t mind”

“Working out again? Jake, do you even sleep? Steroids are bad for you, you know!”

I could’ve swore I heard him laugh as he walked out the door. I looked over at dad, who seemed to find normalcy in Jacob’s behavior. Confusion and disbelief washed over my face. 

Did he really just let Jacob do whatever like this? Kill his body with who knows what? Skip out on sleep, did he do this on weekdays, too? What about school? My thoughts were cut short when dad interrupted.

“Rachel, why are you here?” His brows furrowed. “Believe me, I’m very happy to see you again. But it’s almost three in the morning..”

“When I got in my car after work, dad, something just told me to drive here. I know it was late, I knew the trip would take hours, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to be here.” I paused for a moment, studying the oak woodwork on the kitchen table. My teeth bit down on the inside of my cheeks.

“I think it might’ve been mom.” I didn’t look up at him when I said that, It’s been so long since we’d talked about her. I’m sure Rebecca hadn’t mentioned her to him, either.

“Maybe she wants you here for a good reason.” He nodded. A few seconds passed by before he added “She always knew what was best for you kids. I’m sure she still does.”

I gave him a small smile, talking about mom made my heart ache, but I knew he was right. Hopefully whatever force brought me here tonight unveils itself before I go back to my third story apartment Sunday night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Chapter One is over. Please give me some feedback. I’m very new to this but I have an exciting story planned. The first few charters may feel slow, but I wanted to give Jacob’s family the stories they all deserved. This will eventually be a slow burn between Rachel and Paul, stick around to see how it unfolds.


	2. First Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel quickly discovers things at home aren't quite like she remembers. An encounter at First Beach leaves her confused.

( _Rachel)_

  
Catching up with dad last night was as easy as breathing. Our phone calls were nice, of course, but nothing compared to sitting beside him at the kitchen table and watching the way lines formed across his face when he'd smile. Or the twinkle in his eye when we'd talk about memories that took place in the house. 

“Do you remember when Jacob would put worms in our bed?" We both started laughing. Dad joined in with "But you can't forget when you girls painted his nails _pink_ while he slept."

My laugh faded away thinking about the transition from boy to man Jacob had made in a few short years. He was only sixteen, how could he look like he was pushing twenty-five? 

The more I thought about it the less it made sense. My eyelids were heavy though, and my mind grew too tired to come up with any reasonable explanations. "I think we should get some more rest, dad." I said softly into the darkness that surrounded us. The only light in the room was above the stove, the small bulb only gave a warm glow over our tired faces. 

"You can head on to bed, Rachel. I usually wake up in an hour anyway. Charlie comes over early on Saturdays." 

"I assume my bed is still in our old room?" I asked curiously. I steered away from asking about Charlie for now, although I wondered how he was doing.

My tired mind wouldn't remember anything else from our talk tonight so it would be a useless gesture. 

"I haven't touched it since you left, actually." The delivery of his words sounded almost sad. 

I sat my palms down on the table and used them as support as I stood in the darkness. I leaned over to give dad a small kiss on the forehead, and headed toward the old bedroom Rebecca and I used to share. 

Instead of taking in the room around me, I crawled into the twin sized bed and wrapped up into an old (unfortunately dusty) quilt and closed my eyes. The only sound in the night were the frogs chirping and rain drops softly dancing on the tin roof. For the first time in a long time, I fell asleep almost instantly.

*****

Distant whispering filled my ears, causing my eyes to flutter a few times before finally opening entirely. The room around me was a hideous bubblegum pink that almost hurt your eyes to look at.

I mean seriously, what were Rebecca and I thinking when we painted it _this_ color? Drowsily scanning the room, I saw Rebecca's twin sized mattress across the small room from mine. Her comforter was a light shade of green, almost a sage color, or maybe that was the dust collecting on top of the material. A few stuffed animals sat near the headboard, and some boyband posters aligned the wall on her side of the room.

The very sight made me laugh, and sigh all at once wishing for just one more day where all I had to worry about in life were boybands and pink walls.

I sat up in bed and made my way for the door. Beside the bedroom door was a tall chest of drawers, it had beautiful woodwork on top. Small trinkets, Native jewelry and family pictures sat on it.

I stopped and picked up one of the picture frames, taking in the sight of Rebecca and I, Jacob, Dad and Mom all sitting together on a set of bleachers. I couldn't quite remember where we were, or why we were there, I almost hated myself for not remembering every second I spent with my mom. 

I sat the picture frame back on the chest before it had time to ruin my mood for the day. My fingerprints were left on the side of the frame from the dust collected on it, nobody had been in here truly in a long time. The room felt like a pink time capsule.

Stepping out into the hallway, out of sight from the kitchen, I could hear the faint whispers again. Except this time I knew the voices. Dad and Jacob. I slumped into the doorway for support, eavesdropping. 

I should have felt guilty for doing such a thing but there were so many questions bouncing around in my head I was desperate to find some answers to. I knew asking Jacob directly wouldn't get me very far, either.

"You can't let her find out about this, Jacob. She's only here for the weekend. We don't get this opportunity.." He stopped talking for a second, like the words stung his throat. Seeing his daughter was an opportunity, almost like a privilege to him.

Guilt pinged my chest again. "She doesn't come here often, and I don't want her scared away forever, please?" Dads voice now sounded like a beg to Jacob.

"I've kept it from everyone else for this long. Two days are nothing to me." Jacob said with confidence. The conversation ended, but I waited in the doorway a few more seconds to be sure before making my way across the hall into the small bathroom. 

Everything was small here, and now being older I just didn't understand how so many women lived here at once. Two boys could survive, sure, they're minimal. But twin girls and a grown woman? The thought as an adult made me shudder.

I opened the medicine cabinet and looked for an unused toothbrush. After moving a few things around and a few bottles clinking together, I found three toothbrushes in the right corner of the cabinet. One was pink, the other purple, and the one closest to the wall was yellow. Pink belonged to Rebecca, of course. Purple was mine, and yellow belonged to mom.

Yellow was moms favorite color, she always said it was her favorite because it was a happy color. Yellow was the sky in the mornings, the sun in the afternoon. Yellow was her favorite blouse, yellow was her first car (that she told us she totaled 6 months after having it, thanks to a deer.) So she settled for a simple silver car next time. "The deer won't notice this color as much, right?" She asked Dad. "Sure, honey." He'd tell her.

I picked up her toothbrush and studied it for a second, thinking of the last time she probably used it. Surely she didn't know it would be her last time. How could we ever know the last time we'd do anything?

I sat the toothbrush back in its holder, and picked up the purple one instead. Wetting it under the faucet, I looked at my reflection and decided it was time to make myself somewhat presentable before going into the family room. Dad did say he'd have company today, I'd rather Charlie not see me after five years and wonder why I came back to La Push as a complete zombie.

****

After a much needed shower, some primping, and old clothes I managed to find in the chest of drawers, I was happy with how i looked. I let my hair fall down my back today instead of confining it to a ponytail. It felt nice to let the dark locks breathe for once.

I made my way into the living room and was greeted with my dads warm smile and Charlie's widen eyes. He looked truly shocked. "Rachel!?" He shouted. "Billy you didn't tell me they were here!" Charlie shoved dads shoulder playfully then stood up to wrap one arm around my shoulders and gave me a half hug. His other hand held a Dr. Pepper. 

"It's only Rachel, Charlie. Rebecca is in Hawaii, remember?" 

"Hawaii... Wow. I'm surprised you didn't move down there with her, Rach." He took a step back and looked at my face, taking in the few years I've gained.

"You look just like your mother. Seriously, the spitting image." He shook his head slightly and gave me a small smile, not knowing if that would upset me or if I'd take it as a compliment. I quickly moved to ease his nerves, "Thank you Charlie." I smiled.

"Hawaii wasn't for me," I then added, walking toward the fridge. "Rebecca is happy down there. She really loves her husband. I mean it was just at first sight, she knew. Their home is gorgeous." I opened the door of the fridge and scanned around for something to drink or eat. "But it wasn't for me. I couldn't intrude on her happiness." I then decided to follow Charlies idea and have a Dr. Pepper. Breakfast could wait, I'd rather talk, anyway.

"I understand that." Said Charlie. "I love the beaches here, I wish I had more time to visit them."

"Working a lot?" I asked.

"Oh yeah." He grumbled and took a swig of his drink. "There's been some kind of animal attacking hikers around here. We can't get a good lead on them, though. It's damn frustrating."

I saw worry, anger, and guilt wash over his face. I could tell that this really bothered him, so I'd add one more comment on the matter and try to leave the subject. Reunions should stay happy, right?

"Maybe you should tell Jake to lay off the 'roids and stay out of the woods at 2 A.M. dad." I said roughly in his direction. He laughed me off and kept watching the TV. Charlie had the same idea, his eyes were just as glued to whatever game going on as dads were. 

“Hows Bella?" I wondered. Bella and I never hit it off, Rebecca didn't talk to her much either. I knew that Jacob adored her though. She was always so timid, it was hard for me to believe that Jacob ever got a word out of the girl.

The question seemed to stress Charlie out as well, and I immediately regretted asking. I looked down at the rug beneath the coffee table, studying the worn patterns while Charlie gathered an answer. "Well, she's not doing _too_ well." He admitted. "Her and her boyfriend broke up a few months ago. Uh," He stumbled around his words awkwardly, I'm sure it was hard for him to venture around teenage banter. "She's been trying to move on, I think. She's been hanging around Jacob a lot, not as much recently." His eyes shot over to dad. "Working out?" Charlie asked.

Dad shrugged. "He's a teenager, Charlie. My pleas only do so much" 

The conversation fell quiet. I took a sip from my drink, it was the only noise in the room besides the narrator on the ball game. "I'm going to get some fresh air." I said quietly, wiped the moisture on my hands from the soda can onto my blue jeans, and stood up. 

Neither of the men seemed to notice me exiting the room, putting two grown men in front of a ball game is enough for them to shut the whole world out. Even if the girl facing them had been gone for four years. 

Opening the front door was like stepping into a whole different world. The warmth from inside the house almost made me turn around, but I persisted and walked down the ramp until my feet squished into mud. The whole driveway was muddy, I hoped my little car had enough power to get out of here in a few days. 

I guess Jacob could give me a good push if I got stuck. His force alone would be enough for five grown men probably. Reaching in the passenger seat of my car I grabbed a coat, swung it over my arms and finally felt warmth again. This wasn't so bad after all.

Taking in the sight around me was truly beautiful, I had forgotten how beautiful La Push was. The gigantic pine trees were so long you have to look completely up to see the very tops of them. The sky was completely grey, every now and then you could see a small burst of baby blue.

Dads little red house had no close neighbors, no car traffic, no people just walking around on sidewalks, no car alarms going off. It truly was heaven compared to my third story apartment in Pullman. If the memories weren't so hard to live with, or if the house was just a few rooms bigger, I may consider coming back again. 

But the memories were painful, and the house was so small Jacob was going to outgrow it any day now. There was no room for me here, even if for a moment I'd wish there was.

Even though five years had passed I still knew my way down to First Beach by foot. Rebecca, Jacob, Bella and I used to spend a lot of time down there as kids. Bella didn't come every time, but on the times she didn't show Jacob would complain how he had nobody to play with.

Rebecca and I always gave him the chance to play with us, but according to young Jacob we were so "girly" and Bella was always willing to make mud pies with him and play with worms. A part of me hoped nothing bad had happened between them, lifelong friendships were so hard to come by. Especially platonic ones.

The end of the off-beaten path was finally visible. I could smell and taste the saltwater in the air, it slapped against my face in a familiar way. For a moment I stopped and closed my eyes, just taking in the moment. Not even twenty-four hours ago I had wished so badly for this taste, this smell. 

And here it was, maybe this was all I truly needed for a mental reboot over the weekend. Walking further I realized a few groups of people were here already. Anxiety rose in my chest a little at the sight. I'm sure some people knew my name in La Push, but did they know me now? One look at my face would be enough to tell most people who's daughter I am, and knowing that sent pinpricks into my heart yet again.

I decided to walk along the shoreline, not paying much attention to the small groups of people huddled around the beach. Hearing the waves lap around rocks and slapping into each other was enough to make me want to curl up somewhere and lay there for hours. I could see why Rebecca loved Hawaii so much. It would be just like this, but about sixty degrees warmer I'm sure. 

There was a group of men walking in my direction, I could only squint and try to make out who they were. Right away once I saw the lack of clothes in the freezing cold I knew who they were. Well, I knew one of them at least. 

Was this some kind of posse Jacob was in? The sight of four shirtless men made me almost want to gag, not because the other men looked bad, but just because they had to be cocky enough to risk hypothermia. Did they think that women were into that? Showing off your body any chance you got just because you could? Gross.

"Rach?" I heard Jacob call.

I walked closer, approaching the men. I offered a smile. "Yeah?"

"What are you doing out he-" Before he could continue, all the men paused. I directed my eyes away from Jacob, they landed on the man in the middle. In that moment my entire world shifted on its axis. Everything around us paused, there was no Jacob beside of us, or whoever the other men were. 

No huddles of people on the beach, it was just me standing in front of this mystery guy. The intense stare lasted for a few more seconds, before I finally could break away and catch my breath. I almost collapsed from how long I must've been holding it in. 

One of the men looked at Jacob, all-knowingly. I couldn't make out what they were saying, my ears were ringing and I felt pretty sick to my stomach. I really shouldn't have skipped out on breakfast.

Trying to make sense of anything at all, I helplessly looked at Jacob, who now looked enraged. The other man shouted intensely, almost barking out an order. "Jacob, calm down, now." 

"What is going on!?" I finally cried. I looked helplessly at the four men in front of me. Jacob still looked furious, shaking almost, the man beside of him wearing a smirk, the middle guy who I locked eyes with before was helplessly panting with his hands on his knees, and the guy on the very right looked authoritative.

The authoritative one was the only one I felt I could truly trust in this moment, I looked at his face now, was it something I had done? "Did I do something?..."

"Get her back to your place, Jacob." He started the command, his whole chest rose as he took in a deep breath. "We're going to take Paul to Emily's for now. I think he needs to calm down a little." He then nodded in our direction. 

As soon as his words were over, the two men crouched down to look at the supposed Paul. Was he suddenly sick? Is that what ruined Jacobs mood, why he was so mad? Maybe they had plans for the day and this guy ruined them by getting sick, I don't know.. 

If that were the case then why did I feel it too? Why did I suddenly feel so sick? So confused? I felt so drawn to reach my hand out and comfort Paul. I wanted to put my hand on his shoulder and ask if he needed anything. 'Do you want to come back to our place?' I would've asked him. 'I could get you something to drink.' I'd say.

He could lay down in my twin sized bed, which admittedly would be a hilarious sight. These men were all huge, Paul almost as big as Jacob was. I didn't realize I was still staring in their direction until Jacob grabbed my arm and turned me the other direction. 

"Come on," Jacob said. "I think it's time for us to go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter flowed so smoothly for me. Beginning this story I didn't realize how much effort goes into bringing these characters to life, but I'm very excited for what I have planned in my head. I hope you enjoy!


	3. Lunch with the Clearwaters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things in La Push feel tense. Rachel is left in the dark about what happened to Paul. Old faces make an appearance.

( _Rachel_ )

  
The walk back home with Jacob felt tense. I wasn't sure what even happened back there, or why Jacob was so bothered by it. The friend that spoke to me seemed nice enough, but still, they were all just strange. Different. I couldn't make any sense of how Jacob got roped into their circle. "Who are those guys?" 

Looking over at Jacobs strained face, I was pushing my luck by asking. We walked awhile longer on the shoreline before finding the small trail leading back to our tiny home. Jacobs internal battle radiated from him, my heart felt a dull ache knowing my own brother didn't trust me enough to confide in me. 

He finally spoke. "Sam Uley, the tallest one, he's in charge. Jared is his second, and Paul is his third." He kicked a small rock as we walked up the trail, the rock seemed to tumble for miles.

"I'm the newest, the youngest. We patrol the area to make sure nobody is causing any trouble."

"Oh, so you're a lifeguard?" I teased.

"Something like that." He smiled like it was an inside joke.

****

A vaguely familiar car sat in the driveway. An old green cavalier. "Is that Sue Clearwater?" I asked Jacob with a little bit of excitement. He nodded and I picked up my pace toward the home. Sue already met me at the door, a huge grin appearing on her face. "Rachel!" She beamed. "Oh my goodness, its been _so_ long!" Her arms found me in a warm embrace, Sue's arms always welcomed me. No matter how long it had been.

"I came over and made lunch for everybody, I had no idea you were here until halfway through cooking." She rolled her eyes. "Your dad wanted to surprise me, but I guess he couldn't hold it in any longer." 

Her hand touched my back, guiding me inside the compact kitchen. Hints of rosemary, butter and garlic filled the air. Inhaling deeply, I welcomed the homey atmosphere Sue brought to the place. Dad desperately needed a woman in his life like Sue. 

Sue was so much like mom; I couldn't bear to think of the sadness that brought him. Watching her put together plates of chicken and homemade mashed potatoes for everyone was like watching mom. When mom would cook like this though, she'd wear her hair up, a trickle of sweat would be wiped away by her busy hands. "Foods ready," She would yell happily. "You girls get in here before the guys eat it all."

"Thank you, Sue." I sat down at the kitchen table and was soon enough joined by Harry Clearwater, who put a firm hand on my shoulder. "We've missed you. kiddo." Charlie sat across from me, Dad joined him in the spot without a chair. 

His wheelchair fit perfectly in the empty space. Dad looked truly content, I couldn't imagine how much happier he'd be if Rebecca were here with us. Rebecca adored Sues homemade mashed potatoes. I couldn't help but admire the dedication that went into peeling the potatoes and mashing them all by yourself. A big part of me hoped to be like Sue and mom someday.

A few minutes of silence passed by, everyone was too caught up in the wonderful cooking to say a word. I finally broke the silence. "I ran into Jacobs friends at the beach." I could feel Harrys eyes look up from his plate. Harry and Dad had some kind of secret language through eye contact. I didn't understand it. "They're good boys." Charlie spoke mid bite. "They never give anyone here trouble, I think what they do is great."

"I agree," Harry joined. "They take a load off our minds. Keeping the place cleaned up like this."

"True," I thought. "One of them looked at me really weird, though." I paused, sitting my fork on the plate. The thought suddenly made me sick to my stomach again. The feeling was long forgotten until I stupidly brought it back to my own attention. I placed a hand down on my stomach, trying to compose myself before anyone spoke. But there was nothing, just a few exchanged glances. Charlie was the only one curious enough to say something. 

"Looked at you how?" He raised one eyebrow. His inner cop was coming out, I found it almost endearing.

"Well, he was fine until I got closer to their little posse." Now using the long fork to play with my food. "It was like as soon as he looked at me he got sick." I couldn't dare look up. I truly felt selfish for making Paul's sudden behavior about me. 

It could've been something he ate, it could've been the cold weather finally getting to him. Maybe they took him to 'Emily's' house to get some clothes for the guy. My mind was searching for any possible answer that didn't involve me being the reason.

"I'm sure it's nothing you did." Sue smiled softly in my direction. "I'm sure he could've had a long night. Did you catch his name?"

"Uh, Paul." 

"He's a hot-headed one for sure. His parents recently divorced." Harry added. "I can't help but feel for any kid that loses a parent." Harry then froze, realizing what he'd just said. It hurt a little knowing they felt pity for us, but then I reminded myself anyone would. 

Nobody deserved the pain of an absent parent. "I agree." I added, letting Harry know what he'd said didn't upset me. Even if it had I wouldn't let anyone know. Lunch with everyone was something I didn't get much of these days, so I wouldn't allow a small comment to ruin the whole gathering.

Lunch back in my apartment was rare. Usually I was either in class or working around this time. The first bag of chips or cup of coffee I could find throughout the day was my fuel for awhile. Sitting in front of this glorious plate of food made me realize how sad that image was from another perspective. It had been so long since I sat down and had a meal with somebody, loneliness suddenly pinging at my heart again. I would miss this when I went back to Pullman.

Sue finished her plate, blotting her glossy lips softly and rising from the table. "I saved Jacob some food. I'm sure he'll be hungry when he comes in." She smiled down at Billy, rubbing his shoulders as she turned to walk away. Two full plates sat on the counter for Jacob. 

****

The next few hours went by so quickly. Sue, Harry and Charlie's presence brought this home an upbeat atmosphere. I filled them in on my latest accomplishments, followed by compliments from Charlie and Sue especially. 

We told some old stories, reminiscing with everyone filled that empty space in my heart. Laughing with everyone brought me a sense of joy you couldn't get by laughing at a co-workers half attempt at a joke. Sometimes I felt like the people back in Pullman didn't mesh with me the way my family in La Push did. That was normal though, I suppose.

An older style truck pulled into the driveway, it was a faded orange color. It was a truly ugly truck. The girl jumping out of it though was quite pretty. Long brown hair curling down her chest and back, she had beautiful, clear skin. Her fashion sense was questionable, but her natural beauty pulled it together nicely. 

"Bella?" I asked Charlie. He nodded looking over his armchair. "Yeah, I had no clue she'd be this way today."

"We don't see her often." Sue added. "Is everything okay?"

"I hope so." Charlie said. 

Rain was beating down on the roof now, I walked toward the kitchen window to look outside. Everything was green and very wet. Bella continued to walk through the yard, looking in her direction I saw Jacob coming toward the house. He didn't look very happy though, so I tried to stay out of their view. 

"Jake! Hey!" Bella yelled. He turned to face her now, I could see that he wanted to avoid her entirely before. Jacob looked hurt, frustrated almost.

"You cut your hair off?" She asked. "And.. Got a tattoo?" My eyes wandered over to dad, the little group in the living room were still engaged in some kind of conversation. I suppose I'm the only one listening to the debacle taking place in the yard. 

Maybe that was a good thing. Was Jacob having girl trouble? With Bella? I hoped that later today he'd talk to me about this. Maybe I could offer some sort of advice.

"I thought you were too sick to even come outside!" She yelled. Then she spoke quietly. "Or pick up the phone when I called.."

"Go away." Jacob spat.

"What?"

"Go away." He said firmly, turning away from Bella.

"Hey!" She grabbed his shoulder, making him face her again. "What happened to you? Did _Sam_ get to you?"

Sam. I thought. The guy from the beach. It seemed like he gave the orders around here.

"Sam is trying to _help_ me. Don't blame him." Jacob now looked down at Bella, his eyebrows were pulled close together. He looked mad. "But if you want somebody to blame, how about those filthy bloodsuckers you love? The Cullen's"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about, Bella. You've been lying to everyone. Charlie. But you can't lie to me. Not anymore."

Still watching, I could see the shirtless men emerging from the forest line. "Jacob!" They yelled. Jacob looked over at them, then back to Bella, almost like it hurt him to walk away from her.

"I have to go, Bella. We can't be friends anymore." As he began to run away, Bella didn't budge. She just stood there, in the pouring rain. I looked up to the line of trees now, only two men stood there. Jacob finally met up with them and they tapped his shoulders. The three men disappeared into the forest. 

I'll admit, I didn't have a bond with the girl standing outside. In this moment I felt bad for her, though. Grabbing my coat from the rack by the door, I threw it over my arms and brought the hood over my head of hair. "I'll be right back." I yelled into the house. 

Opening the door made the downpour outside amplify through my ears. It was so loud it was almost hard to hear my own thoughts bouncing around my head. I truly had no idea what was happening here in La Push. Between Paul acting like a freak and Jacob talking in some kind of vampire-esc code I had no idea where I was anymore.

Part of me couldn't wait to get in my car and drive back to Pullman. Although the eight hour drive was enough to make anyone groan in detest.

"You okay?" I yelled from the corner of the house. Bella didn't turn to face me for a few moments, but when she did her eyes were bloodshot. Her nose was red, I could tell she'd been crying. "You'll get sick standing out here, it's cold.." I began to walk toward her. Offering a warm smile, trying to seem inviting to the girl that was practically a stranger to me these days.

"R-Rachel?" She finally spoke. "Or Rebecca?"

"Rachel." 

"Rachel." She repeated. "I didn't know you came home." Her eyes wouldn't meet mine just yet, probably flooded with embarrassment from the tears still trailing down her face. In the distance though, you'd never known she was crying. It was raining that hard.

"I'm leaving tomorrow evening. So I'm not home for good." I said. "Come on though, we can talk inside."

"I think I should go home for now. My dads inside, I don't want him to know about this."

"Right.. Well, he saw you pull in.. What should I tell him?" I wondered.

"Uh," She closed her eyes, thinking hard. "Tell him I came to see Jacob, and uh, he was too busy for me.." Her eyes opened, more tears escaping her eyes. "It's the truth anyway." Her feet finally lifted from the ground, walking toward her truck.

We didn't speak anymore after that. So much for me trying to be friendly, I guess. I began walking back to the ramp leading into the house, when the sound of the truck engine revving up made me jump. Gosh, that was loud. Thankfully Bella was in too much of a foul mood to laugh at my startled reflexes.

Warmth comfortably hit my face as I walked into the small house. It was refreshing compared to the frigid, wet air outside. "Uh, Charlie." I spoke loudly so he'd hear. "Bella and Jacob got into some kind of fight, I guess. She said she'd see you at home." I heard a groan. From who, I wasn't sure.

"Thank you Rachel." He said. Defeat in his voice. 

I hung my coat back on the rack, then walked into the open living space where the four of them still sat. "Of course." I offered Charlie a comforting smile. Deciding it was too much to be surrounded by people right now, I walked back into the long hallway. 

Mine and Rebecca's room was the very last on the right. The pink tint from our room illuminated the brown shiplap wall in the hallway. God, this room needed painted desperately. Plopping down on the unmade twin bed I let out a heavy sigh. 

I had to figure out what was going on with Jacob and his group of friends. I wouldn't mind his group if they all didn't act so..suspicious. So different from everyone else in La Push. His friend Sam, seemed to give off the vibe that he knew more than anyone else here. Like he owned La Push. Did he? The thought made me huff slightly. 

I rolled over to my side in bed, contemplating more of what happened today. My eyes traveled to the window in the space between Rebecca and I's twin beds. The rain hadn't stopped, if anything it was harder. The wind blew the tree branches back and forth, like a green wave engulfed the forest. In the midst of the wave, I could almost see a blur of grey. Almost like an animal. Probably just a deer, I thought to myself. I couldn't handle anymore weird between today and tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! It was fun for me to write. Leave your theories down below on what's developing behind the scenes for Paul and our beloved Rachel. I have something exciting planned for the next few chapters.


	4. First Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul sees Rachel Black for the first time. Things get complicated when he imprints on her. 
> 
> Paul will not be completely written as the arrogant asshole he is portrayed to be throughout the saga. I want to give him justice and show that he can be a genuine nice guy.

( _Paul)_

  
Nightly patrols were staring to take a toll on all of us, truly it was getting hard to even keep my eyes open at this point. Thankfully Sam is starting to let us take shifts so we’ll be more on our game. If all of us are in bed at the same time, the bloodsucker could easily wreak serious havoc over night. 

The thought of one of those filthy leeches getting ahold of my dad, or anyone else’s dad made me violently angry. There’s nothing I want more than to just rip one of them apart. I could feel myself starting to shake, _chill out Paul_. I thought to myself. We’re in the clear for now, so just take it easy and go get some rest at home.   
  
Shifting back into human form was instant for us now, I’ll admit at first I struggled quite a bit. There’s nothing scarier than turning into a gigantic werewolf in the middle of the night, inside of your own home. Seriously wrecked the entire living room, I don’t know how the house didn’t collapse in on itself. I’m still very thankful that my dad wasn’t in the room, although he was in the house and nearly had a heart attack at the sight of me. 

Seeing my dad through new eyes was just...terrifying. For both of us. At the time he didn’t know it was me, but I knew who he was. My mind was still intact, but my body shifted into something big enough to take on a grown grizzly bear.

Scared and confused, I did my best to run out of our house. Knocking over any and everything in the way. When I finally made my way out of the front door, I took the door, and the doorframe with me. Walking back into that house later than night made me feel so damn guilty.

I couldn’t make any good excuses, because even I didn’t understand what was going on inside of myself. But I also couldn’t take back the damage I caused to a home my dad worked so hard to build.   
  
When I shifted for the first time that day, I could hear other people’s thoughts bouncing around in my head. That was even more terrifying.   
  


“ _Paul?”  
  
_

 _“Okay I have officially fucking lost it.”_ I thought to myself _. “What the actual fuck!”_

_”Paul, it’s Sam Uley. I know this is scary but you have to trust me here. Meet us on the cliff side by First Beach.”_

_”What do I do!? My dad is standing here staring right at me. And I’m a giant fucking dog dude!”_

_”Just try to get out of the house without wrecking the place, alright. We’ll be waiting for you. Don’t let anyone else see you like this.”_

It had been six months since Sam guided me through my first shift. Since he taught me how to shift back, how to (somewhat) control my anger to _avoid_ shifting. Throughout all this time my body began to change in ways I still didn’t understand.

Nights were the worst, trying to sleep during constant growth spurts left my legs completely restless. My tossing and turning could usually be heard throughout the whole house, my dad seemed like he was understanding, but I knew he’d never truly be able to comprehend that his son could turn into a giant dog. 

A big part of me felt glad that my mother divorced my dad. Sure, a part of me hated her for leaving us. I hated her for barely calling, or never coming to visit. Never asking me any questions like “ _How’s school going Paul?_ ” Or “ _Is dad doing alright?_ ”

” _Oh everything’s fine mom, except that fact that I can turn into a giant fucking dog and dad misses you so bad he stays inside for days. Just peachy down here mom_!”   
  


The part of my happy about their divorce comes from the fact that she would absolutely freak out knowing what I was capable of. Hell, I still didn’t even know what I was truly capable of! How frustrating it is to not know the depths of your own abilities. To be afraid to be told bad news in a room full of outsiders.

What if the news was too much to handle? What if I started convulsing and couldn’t stop in time? The internal battle in my head seemed to never quite stop.   
  


One of my favorite parts about shifting was when I finally got to go back to only having two legs. If I was lucky, my shoes and pants would all be in one piece. When I was just Paul, none of the guys knew what I was thinking unless I said it out loud.

It can be truly maddening to have a bunch of guys knowing what you’re thinking all the time. It does come in handy during patrols of course, or if something bad happens and the others don’t know, but it definitely had its downsides.

Walking along First Beach always had me reminiscing on how far I’ve come since Sam helped me out that day. Jared was there, too, but Sam just took control like he was born for this. This was the lifestyle he was born to lead and I looked up to him for it. Whatever he commands me to do, I’d drop whatever at the time to do it. That was my forever ‘thank you’ to Sam for being my guide in a dark time. 

Jared story is a lot like mine, but Sam was the very first of us to shift. Not the very first ever, but the very first of our generation. The elders did a good job of keeping people our age informed of the Quileute Legends, bloodlines, and all the sorts, but you truly don’t realize the truth all of it holds until you magically grow 6 feet and have four paws. 

Jacob hasn’t been with us long, maybe two weeks. I couldn’t put my trust into Jacob just yet, knowing through his internal monologue that he was in love with a leech-lover.

I mean _come on man_! How could you love someone who welcomes those freaks with open arms? I hated listening to Jacob’s thoughts, they made me want to hunch over and start dry-heaving. 

Today though, his internal monologue finally had something different. He wasn’t just thinking about Bella. I was truly tired of hearing the name Bella, it didn’t even sound like a damn word to me anymore. I know the other guys felt the same, usually halfway through patrol Jared would yell “ _Get a grip dude, it’s not like she’s your imprint.”_

If it wasn’t for Sam and Jared already imprinting, I probably wouldn’t believe in that stuff. Seeing how they’d bend over backwards for whatever their imprints wanted made me a little nauseous. I couldn’t imagine being _that_ guy.

The kind of guy that never stopped talking about the girl he loved, or the kind of guy that would drop anyone for her. I just wasn’t in a place in my life where that seemed to matter much to me. The girls at school were fun to flirt with, sure, but I didn’t want to love any of them. I couldn’t dedicate myself to somebody and hold all of this responsibility over my head. Especially with all of these damn hikers going missing left and right. I mean how do these guys even stay focused when most of their thoughts revolve around their imprints? 

I guess that’s one reason Jacob didn’t make much sense to me. He was the youngest out of us all so far, so I assumed he was just infatuated by the first girl that looked his way. He was two grades below me, a sophomore, but I still knew that other girls looked his way. So why did he want someone that loved someone so lifeless, so cold?

He was practically setting himself up for disappointment. And we got to sit back and watch it unfold. Talk about secondhand embarrassment. 

Jacobs thoughts weren’t so embarrassing today though, more so they longed for a life he had before. He thought about his twin sisters (that none of us knew he had.) He thought about his mom that passed a few years ago, from his mind I could tell how much he missed her. He missed his sisters too, of course, but nothing compared to his mom.

When we’d have council meetings or bonfires over at Jacob’s house I’d wonder where his mom was, why it was just him and Billy. I thought maybe his situation was similar to mine. Sometimes I felt like my mom wasn’t here anymore, though, so I could relate to him there. It hurts getting the cold shoulder from the person that’s supposed to love you the most.

in his mind Jacob’s sisters had long, black hair, you could tell the difference between them though; one had emerald green eyes and the other a cloudy grey. They reminded me of an overcast sky. The one with the grey eyes got married to some hot-shot in Hawaii, and the one with the green eyes lives just eight hours away in Pullman. I’d never been to Pullman, maybe it’s nice. I couldn’t imagine anything nicer than La Push though. 

“Are you three heading home to rest?” Sam asked us.

”Well yeah” I answered.

Jared chimed in “Duh, I’m fucking tired!”

Jacob didn’t answer, almost looking distracted by someone in the distance. For the love of god, please don’t be Bella fucking Swan. 

”Rach?” Jacob asked. We all walked in the girls direction, from his previous thoughts today I could tell this was one of his sisters. Probably the one that didn’t marry a guy in Hawaii. 

  
As the girl I could only presume was Jacob’s sister Rachel approached us, I didn’t really look at her until she was standing directly in front of us. Before I could get an introduction out, my eyes locked with hers and I could feel my entire life flash before my eyes.  
  
My life flashed in a way not related to death, nothing about this vision was about dying. I couldn’t feel the presence of Sam, Jared, or Jacob anymore. The only presence I felt was the girl looking directly into my soul. I felt naked before her, like she could see every little detail about my life without even asking.

Through my eyes I could see her holding my hand, walking along the beach. I could see myself planting small kisses on her forehead as she fell asleep into the night. For some reason I could tell she liked to stay up late, so I’d be able to stop in before a nightly patrol to tell her goodnight.

I could see her baking in our kitchen, flour on her apron and a spec in her hair. Smiling at me across the room and asking how my day was. I could see her chasing our children around the back yard, I could hear their giggles and see their faces. One would be a boy, with her emerald eyes, and the other a girl, a few years younger than her brother. I saw myself spending my life with the girl in front of me, before she even knew my name. Suddenly I felt sick.

Finally able to catch my breath, I turned away from her and put my hands on my knees. Trying to hold back whatever I’d ate last from making it’s way up. Panting was the only thing that seemed to help me. ‘ _Oh geez Paul, don’t shift right here. God dammit!’_ I wanted to kick some sense into myself, but I couldn’t even form a word, I couldn’t move a muscle.

Suddenly I felt everyone’s eyes boring into my back. I could feel their presence again, truthfully I forgot where we even were. 

“Get back to your place, Jacob.” I heard Sam say behind me. “We’re going to take Paul to Emily’s” 

“Come on,” I could hear Jacob say. He talked as if his tongue turned sour. “I think it’s time for us to go.”

Jacob and Rachel were finally out of earshot when Sam finally asked “Paul?” Frozen in place, I offered no answer.

”Dude, he just imprinted on Jacob’s sister!” Jared said, almost laughing. God dammit I wish I could punch him in the face right now! I could feel how smug he was from here.

”Paul!” Sam shouted now, my ears began to ring. “Hey!” He shook my shoulders now.   
  
“Give me a damn sec man!” I pleaded, still panting. After a few more moments I could stand straight again, my breathing steadying with each passing second. “What was _that_?” I finally had the courage to look up at Sam. His eyes filled with understanding, he looked as if he felt sorry for me. A look that said ‘ _Hey man, I’ve been there.’_

“Jared’s right. You imprinted on Rachel Black.” Sams gaze never left. I couldn’t bring myself to continue looking at his intense stare, so my eyes wandered off along the shoreline. The waves were intense now, crashing against the rocks surrounding us.

I could imagine Rachel and I sitting out here on a sunny day, where the waves weren’t so harsh. Where we could just relax and take in the beauty of the world around us. Then the nausea bubbling in my stomach gave me a reminder that it was still there, “Ughh,” I groaned. “I don’t feel so good.” My eyes began rolling into the back of my head, before I collapsed I felt a set of arms firmly catch my body. 

****

Waking up hurt. My head was throbbing so badly I could feel it vibrating off the pillow. I knew I was laying down, but I didn’t exactly know _where_ yet. Almost scared to open my eyes, I took my hands and cupped them around my face and let out an aggravated sigh.

A big part of me hoped I was laying in Rachel Black’s house. The other part of me reminded myself that not every chick is going to be okay with a shape-shifting werewolf confessing his undying love for her. I let out another groan and finally opened my eyes. I could tell by the decorations around the room this was Emily’s house. It was too homey to be my own.

The sun was setting now, I could tell by the dim light entering the room. Looking out the window I could see the pinks and purples in the sky giving the sun a farewell for the evening. Aside from Rachel Black, the only other thing I could think about was how hungry I was. God, I hoped Emily had something laid out for me. Between Sam and Jared I wasn’t sure there’d be anything left for me.

Standing up hurt almost as bad as waking up. My entire body felt tense, like I needed someone to massage all of the knots out of my back. I began to imagine Rachel’s hands running up and down my back, the very thought of her _hands_ sent a shiver down my spine. _God, get a grip Paul_! I reminded myself yet again.   
  
On the table sat two plates. One filled with blueberry muffins, the other stacked with three sandwiches of some kind. Thank god for Emily. “Emily?” I looked into the kitchen, but received no answer there.   
  


“I’m in here Paul!” I finally heard a reply coming from the living room. One I met her eyes from the doorway she gave me a soft smile. “The food on the table is yours. But you owe me, Jared almost took yours with him and said you could eat something from a can.” Then she laughed slightly at the thought.

”I really appreciate it, Em.” If it wasn’t for Emily we’d probably all be eating from cans every day. I’m sure Jared’s parents didn’t have the time to make him plates upon plates of food every day, and my dad was far too depressed to even think of it.   
  


“I know you do Paul.” She paused, thinking. “Do you want to eat in here?” Then patted a place beside of her on the couch.

”Sure.” Emily knew, I was sure of it. There were no secrets between her and Sam. I grabbed my two plates of food and plopped down beside Emily on the couch. I still wasn’t used to my size, so just throwing my body weight down on the couch almost caused it to snap in half. “Uh, sorry...” 

She huffed. “I’m surprised there’s any furniture left in this house between all you boys.”

On that note I began eating, of course Emily’s food was the best. I gave her an approving look mid bite. Finally, the energy in my body resurfacing after the draining events earlier today. “I needed this.” I said aloud.

”I’m sure you did.” She said softly. “Sam filled me in... Jacob’s sister.” Her eyebrows rose. “I would have never expected that. I didn’t even know he had a sister!”

”Two, actually” I corrected her. “They’re twins.”

”Twins.” She repeated, her hands now lay on her thighs. Absorbing the new information. “What’s your plan, Paul?”

I thought about that for awhile before answering. I’ll admit, I didn’t have a plan. Should I have a plan? Shoot, I don’t know. This only happened a few hours ago and I’m sitting here absolutely clueless. Flirting with girls at school was one thing, but tying my soul to someone else’s... Well, that was another.   
  


“I’m not sure, Em..” I admitted to her. “I want to go tell her everything, but what if she’s not like you, or like Kim? (Jared’s imprint) What if I told her ‘Hey, Rachel, I’m sorry for acting weird on the beach. You see, I’m a werewolf and I imprinted on you, so I’m in this for life. So yeah.’” I gestured my arms around while talking. It calmed my nerves a little.   
  


Emily looked at me sympathetically. “I think you’ll know what to do, when the time is right.” She then looked to the floor. “There’s something else, Paul.”

”What’s wrong?”

”Embry and Quil... You remember them I’m sure. The ones Sam worried about..” She trailed off. By her voice I already knew.

”They shifted.” I finished her sentence.

Emily stayed quiet. God, they’re just Jacob’s age. Barely 16. Probably scared shitless. “Thank you for the food, Em.” Before she could answer I was on my way out of the door, ripping off my shoes and cut-offs before my feet hit the grass.

Allowing my inner instincts to take over and shift me into something greater than I was. Four paws began to run across the ground below me, headed for the tree line. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading yet another chapter of this Rachel/Paul slow burn. Please leave me some feedback or kudos and let me know how you’re liking it!


	5. Embry and Quil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's pack is taken by surprise when Embry and Quil shift for the very first time.

( _Paul)_

  
Running like this was my favorite thing to do, my heightened senses allowed me to smell, see and hear the world around me in ways a human never could. I could smell the damp soil beneath my paws from the rain, I could smell the moss on the trees, the bugs escaping from the inside of an oak tree. After six months of shifting I felt agile enough to dodge the tall trees around me with ease, even in the pitch black of night. 

_"Paul?"_ Sam's voice echoed.

" _I'm on my way from Emily's."_

 _"Paul, I think you should go handle things at Billy's. We have this under control here."_ No sooner than I heard Sam's voice, Embry and Quil's panicked voices were shouting in every direction.

" _Fuck! What the fuck do we do!"_ One of them shouted.

" _How the hell do I tell my mom that I'm a gigantic dog!?"_

My loyalty to the pack told me Sam still needed my help, even if he said he didn't. But my loyalty to Rachel was stronger.

Before meeting Rachel, I would've done absolutely anything my Alpha ordered me to do. Now, if Rachel said the opposite I would follow her command instead. This woman had the ability to take me anywhere, whenever, and I'd follow without question.

Instead of heading in the direction of the pack, I headed for Billy Black's house. It wasn't very far from where I was originally going, so my tired body could handle the distance.

Once I got close, I decided to circle the house in search of Rachel's bedroom. Not to spy on her, of course. I'm not a complete animal. If I ever saw anything inappropriate I would immediately look away, Rachel deserved her privacy just like anybody else.

The very thought of Rachel spying on me in my most private moments awakened something inside of me. I quickly pushed the intimate thoughts away once I found her window on the east end of the house.

I wasn't sure of the time, but it was dark out, so I figured Rachel would've been asleep by now. The rain hadn't let up all evening, making it difficult to get a good view.

Finally peering into her bedroom window, I could see that a small lamp was illuminating the room from her bedside table. Her hair was tied back into a low ponytail, one dark curl brushed against her jawline. A phone was pressed against her face. 

_"I don't know Rebecca, things are weird around here."_ She whispered.

_"Weird how?"_

_"I just... Jake's friends, specifically one of them. He acted so weird when he saw me today. I haven't felt right since."_ She paused to bite her fingernail, wearing an expression I couldn't read. _"Do you remember Bella?"_

_"Wait..Which friend of Jacobs?"_

_"Uh, his name is Paul."_ The second my name escaped from her lips, I wanted to knock on the back door. I could picture her coming to open it in her ratty pajamas, she'd still look beautiful of course, but I'd tell her everything. I'd confess it all just to hear her say my name a million more times.

_"Was he cute?"_

_"Well, I hadn't really thought about it until you asked. He was handsome, but he's friends with Jacob. So I really don't know how old he is."_

_"Hmm, good point. What about Bella, though?"_

_"Well I might've spied on her and Jacob today."_ She paused.

" _Wait, spied?"_ I could hear her sister giggle through the phone.

 _"I didn't see anything weird, gross!"_ Rachel then laughed too, but after a few moments her voice grew serious. _"They had some kind of argument. Uh, Jacob said something about Bella loving a bloodsucker? What does that even mean?"_

My ears began to ring. My vision was becoming blurry. _Fuck!_

Rachel didn't deserve to be eternally bound to this supernatural world. She deserved more than this, more than I could ever give her.

The thought of Rachel knowing what I was some day brought me great shame and fear like I'd never felt. Would she look at me the same if she knew the truth? Oh god, she didn't even really know me now!

I was driving myself crazy over here just wondering how to even introduce myself. I felt as if the second I did, her world would never recover or be the same. I couldn't be the reason for that, I'd never be able to forgive myself.

Rachel deserved to be able to get back in her car, drive to wherever she lived, and live a happy life. She may already love someone else for all I knew. Someone may be waiting for her back at home.

The very thought hurt my chest. Even _if_ Rachel deserved to leave La Push and carry on with her life, would I ever be able to live without her here?

Finally calming down enough to listen again, I heard Rachel speak softly. " _I'm going home tomorrow evening, Beck. I wish you'd come visit me sometime. Or come visit dad, he's lonely without us. . . without mom."_

Selfishly, I never stopped to consider she'd be leaving La Push this soon. Of course she had an entire life to go back to. That's why she left La Push in the first place I'm sure, to make something more for herself than she'd ever have here.

Judging from the small red house the Black's lived in, her parents didn't have much throughout her life. She was a smart woman, she knew that she deserved more than this small town life. Or she just really hated the weather here, either one would make sense. The girls at school were always complaining about the rain messing up their hair. I imagine Rachel would be the same.

The longer I hid behind the security blanket of trees, the more I hurt. Hearing Rachel say she was planning to leave tomorrow caught me by surprise; I didn't expect to have so little time to prepare what to say to her. I felt like I knew her my whole life, yet knew so little about her all at once. How would she react to _this_? To what I was? Would she look at me the way my father did after my very first shift?

I couldn't bring myself to change back yet, too caught up in my feelings to even form an explanation for her. She deserved someone that knew what to say to her. Someone that wouldn't clam up and run away the second they looked at her. That guy wasn't me, not right now at least.

" _Paul, man up!_ " Jared called out to me.

 _"She'll understand."_ Sam reassured me.

 _"Yeah, no, Rach is going to freak out!"_ Jacob added. 

_"Dude, not helping!"_ Jared retorted. 

_"Jacob is right. I won't do this to her."_

_"Paul, Rachel is your soulmate. The spirits showed you themselves. Not everyone gets that opportunity. You walk away from her and you're subjecting her to a lifetime of hurt from people that aren't her soulmate."_ Sam's voice was reassuring, but I still felt uneasy.

" _Give me until tomorrow, okay? If I dump all of this on her tonight she may not sleep at all._ " 

" _Well if you're not going to tell her tonight at least come help us with Embry and Quil!_ " Jared ordered. I didn't take commands from Jared, but I knew he was right. The pack needed my help, and if I couldn't man up enough to tell Rachel I loved her, well; then I wasn't helping anybody at all.

Stealing one last glance at her, I realized she was looking out her window. I knew she couldn't see me from her window, but at the same time I felt like she was staring directly at me.

I felt as if I were painted red in the middle of the green blanket surrounding her house. Unable to look in her direction any longer, I ran the opposite way. It was my job to help and protect my pack, I hoped that someday Rachel would accept that above all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was short and sweet. Don't look at it as a filler, though. This chapter gave us some insight on Paul's inner monologue. His fears and insecurities show why he hasn't told Rachel the truth yet. Do you believe Rachel deserves to know Paul’s secret?


	6. Crossroads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel packs her bags and plans to leave La Push. She's met with bittersweet feelings knowing she may not be back for another few years. Unable to uncover family secrets, she's prepared to leave accepting some things are better left uncovered.

( _Rachel)_

  
Sleeping in the small twin sized bed was beginning to take a toll on my back. I missed my queen sized, memory foam bed. I couldn't blame dad for never upgrading our childhood room though. Why upgrade something never used? Guilt washed through me yet again. 

Dad wasn't directly aware of me leaving this evening, but tomorrow was Monday. So surely he assumed I had work to get back to. Thinking of the eight hour drive made me want to stay in the uncomfortable bed even longer. I curled up in the old comforter one last time before hearing someone shut the front door. 

I stumbled to my feet rather quickly, peeping through the hallway. "Jake?" I asked softly.

"Hey, Rach." He answered, seeming distracted. The poor kid looked beyond tired. Heavy bags lived under his eyes, his hair was messed up, and he wasn't wearing any shoes. "What happened to your shoes?" I asked curiously.

He looked down at his bare feet. Almost as if he forgot what shoes were. "Oh, uh, I lost them I guess." Shrugging me off, Jacob went into his bedroom and laid down on his small bed. I didn't know the last time he'd slept, so i slowly crept down the hallway and shut his door quietly.

"Sleep well," I whispered into the crack of the door. "I'll make breakfast when you wake up." By the time Jacob woke up though, I might not even be here. I might be in my car on the way back to normal life. The thought of leaving Jacob without a proper goodbye made me sad. I guess we'd have to settle for another phone call once I got home. 

Letting go of the doorknob, I made my way into the small kitchen. Dim light found its way into the house through the small window above the sink. It gave the room a golden hue, although the outside was completely green.

I decided to wash up the little bit of dishes from Dad and Jacob in the sink, admiring the beautiful day outside as I scrubbed a few empty glasses. Sue must've washed up all the dishes yesterday, which made me feel a little guilty. It made me feel like a rude host. Even though I wasn't sure that I was the host here. Being away for so long made me feel like the guest in Sue's territory. 

Sue was like a mother figure to us, so I longed for her acceptance. I liked to imagine that when she was my age she had the desire to run away from everything she knew just like I did.

To build a life outside of the comfortable foundation you grew up in. It surely wasn't as easy as outsiders liked to make it seem. It also wasn't easy to continue living in the comfortable foundation when the part that made it comfortable disappeared long ago.

I truly felt like I was stuck in the middle between my old life and my new one, the kitchen suddenly suffocating me at the very thought. This was why I never came home, the battle within myself never ended. Around every corner was another possible trigger to make me think about all the things I've lost.

"Good morning Rachel." My dad said happily from the living room.

"Good morning, dad." I answered, offering him a small smile as I sat across from him. "How'd you sleep?" 

"Oh, no complaints." He mirrored my smile. He looked well rested, happy almost. He definitely looked a lot better than when I had first arrived. Dads face always held a lot of age, but in this moment he looked ten years younger. I couldn't help but thinking my presence in the house had something to do with it. I brushed the thought away, feeling selfish and guilty all at once.

"Any big plans for the day?" I asked him, looking at whatever was on the TV.

"Not that I know of, Charlie and Harry may come by later. Why, kiddo?" His hands clasped together, awaiting my response.

"Well, I have work tomorrow. Back in Pullman. So I have to leave this evening."

He nodded, not answering for a few minutes. I could almost feel his heart break in the room, mine wasn't far behind. The last thing I wanted this visit to do was give dad a false sense of hope that I was here to stay. 

I thought I made it clear from the beginning I wasn't here for good, but I knew dad better than anyone else. Any time I'd come to La Push he'd hold onto the little bit of hope that I'd never go back to Pullman. Seeing his loneliness in person made it all the harder to leave.

"I knew you would have to leave.. Eventually." He finally spoke. "Sometimes I just like to tell myself that eventually will never come." He then shot me a weak smile. "Oh, dad." I whispered, a warm tear trailing down my face. "You know I'd stay if I could."

"I know you would, Rachel. I know you would." His smile slowly faded, taking my hand in his. We sat like that until my hand started to sweat. Even then I didn't pull away. 

****

Snooping through the closet In Rebecca and I's room I was lucky enough to find one of our old duffle bags. It was teal with various floral patterns on it. Something I'd probably shy away from now, but it would do for now. I collected some more of my clothes left behind during the move.

This weekend made me thankful for my forgetfulness. Without it I would've wore the same outfit all weekend. After laying in the dusty twin bed all night and dealing with the reoccurring downpours La Push offered, that wouldn't have went very well for me. Paul surely would've thought I was gross then, I'm sure. 

_Paul_. His name brought me curiosity and longing. I never had the chance to ask Jacob if Paul was better now, or what even happened on the beach. Maybe Harry would know something? From what I can remember, word travels fast in La Push. _Snap out of it, Rachel_. I thought to myself. 

I knew nothing about the guy, absolutely nothing besides his carelessness toward hypothermia. Or that his parents recently divorced, thanks to Harry's insight. He was hot-headed. We'd for sure butt heads if that were the case, something I truly didn't have time for these days. I couldn't grow any attachments before leaving for Pullman. I couldn't risk anything giving me a reason to stay here. 

Duffle bag in hand, I began stuffing clothes inside. My bank account would definitely be happy. The sudden abundance of clothing gave me a reason to stay clear of any department stores. Once the closet grew bare, a small blue tote was visible in the corner of the floor. 'Rebecca & Rachel' wrote on the top in black sharpie. 

Laying the duffle bag on the small bed, I reached down for the small tote. A few cobwebs got caught in my hair and I shook them off quickly before opening the tote. It was almost too heavy for me to lift onto the bed. The blue tote was filled to the very top with family pictures, but on the surface lay two envelopes. One addressed to me, and the other to Rebecca. 

I picked up the envelope addressed to me, staring at it for a few moments before laying it inside of my duffle bag. I wasn't sure that my heart could handle a mystery letter right now, although it could've meant nothing. I didn't want to take the chance and find out while I was already holding back tears at the very thought of my fathers crushing heart in the next room.

At the very top of the tote lay a picture of dad holding Rebecca and I shortly after we were born. Both of us wrapped up in pink muslin, our heads topped with pink bows from the hospital. Dad wore the biggest smile on his face, the kind he wore when I'd sit across from him at the kitchen table. I picked up the picture, holding onto it as a I shut the lid down on the tote and shoved it back into the corner of the closet. 

Zipping up my bag hit me with the realization that I probably wouldn't come back to La Push for awhile. Maybe a few more years, I just couldn't find the time in my life to make frequent eight hour drives. To be honest, I wasn't sure that my car could handle it.

I took a deep breath and slung the bag over my shoulder, turning off the bedroom light and closing the door on the hot pink time capsule that was our bedroom. Jacob's room was right beside of ours, so I slowly opened the door to peek inside. He was in a deep sleep, laying on his stomach and drooling onto his bare mattress. I laid my bag on the floor softly, walking over and giving Jacob a kiss on the forehead. He didn't move.

Jacob's room was closest to the kitchen, so in just a few steps I stood in front of the refrigerator. I used an old magnet that looked like a bushel of grapes and hung the picture of Dad, Rebecca and I. I hoped that when he noticed, it would make him smile. I walked toward the living room, where dad was enjoying dinner by the TV. "Hey, dad." I spoke. "I'm leaving."

"Oh Rach, come give me a hug." He dropped his sandwich down on his paper plate and stretched his arms out for me. I welcomed them, his embrace strengthening around me. "I'll miss you so much, Rach." He said sadly into my hair. 

"I'll miss you too, dad." My voice choked up a little. "I'll come back soon, okay?" We both knew those words held so little promise. "I'll talk Beck into coming with me next time." I pulled away, looking down at him again. I gave him a soft smile even though tears were beginning to form. "Will you tell Sue, Harry and Charlie I said bye? Please?"

"Of course sweetheart."

"And Jacob. Tell him I love him, and to stop hanging around that shirtless gang." I teased. Dad laughed a little at that.

"Will do." He nodded. "Call me when you get home, alright?" I nodded now, although I knew by the time I got home he'd be asleep, and I'd be too forgetful to pick up the phone. I finally allowed myself to turn away from dad and pick my duffle bag back up from the hallway. Slinging it over my shoulder I finally made my way out of the front door, shutting it softly behind me. Farewell, La Push. I thought to myself solemnly.

Fiddling with all of my keys, I finally got ahold of the one for my car. Before I could unlock the car door a voice spoke into the dim evening. 

"Rachel," The voice said "We need to talk before you go."


	7. Implications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul asks Rachel to reconsider her decision to leave La Push.
> 
> The bonus track from New Moon, All I Believe In - Amadou & Mariam & The Magic Numbers pairs wonderfully with these characters throughout this chapter.

( _Rachel_ )

  
"Rachel," The voice said "We need to talk before you go."

Before turning around, I could already feel the familiar presence. Although only meeting once before, I'd recognize the presence anywhere. The hairs stood on the back of my neck, live wires traveling throughout my body. I didn't understand why, or how, but him just _standing_ across the driveway from me made nervousness rise in my chest. 

I was counting on not seeing him again before leaving La Push, knowing that if I did, I might not have the power to go. _Take a deep breath, Rach_. I thought to myself before speaking. "Paul?"

"Hi." He said softly before clearing his throat. "Can we talk?"

"Well, I have to go home soon Paul. I have work in the morning.." I trailed off. "Ten minutes?" I asked politely, at least giving him the chance for whatever it was he wanted to say. My mind began to explore a million different possibilities.

Paul interrupted my racing thoughts. "Ten minutes, then if you want to go, you can." He looked at my small car. I followed his eyes, also studying my car. Imagining Paul squished in the passenger seat made me laugh inside my head.

"I think my car is a little too small for you." I admitted nervously.

He let out a small laugh. "Maybe. We could take a walk down the beach, if you want." His eyes trailed back to mine, taking in the sight of his milk-chocolate eyes made my heart flutter.

"Sure." I nodded, turning on my heel as Paul came closer to me. I silently thanked the sun for drying the ground around us this morning, my shoes not sinking down into the Earth as we walked. I already had two pairs of shoes that desperately needed cleaning once I got back to my apartment. They sat in a plastic back in the back seat of my car.

We walked for awhile in silence, I could feel the anxiety radiating off the boy. Sneaking a quick glance at him, I noticed he actually wore a shirt today. It was a charcoal grey t-shirt that hugged him nicely.

I still couldn't understand how he walked around in cut-offs and no coat in the middle of September. "Aren't you cold?" I asked, looking up at him as we walked down the trail leading to First Beach.

"No," He smiled. "Are you?"

"No, I actually own a jacket." Then he laughed.

First Beach wasn't as crowded today, although a small crowd of people sat on the far end of the beach. We walked away from the small crowd, whatever Paul wanted to tell me must be private.. The thought alone made me grow more nervous by the second. 

Sweat started to form on my palms, so I dug them deep within my pockets and tried to calm my nerves. I didn't even know the guy, why did he do this to me? It frustrated me beyond belief. 

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked me thoughtfully.

"Me?" _Yeah, you, idiot!_ I thought to myself. "Uh, yeah, I'm alright." Watching the ground as we walked, I finally asked. "What happened out here the other day? I mean, were you okay? I wanted to ask Jacob but I didn't see much of him after that..." 

Paul was quiet for a moment, I could tell he was looking at his feet as walked, too. "Do you remember the legends of our people?" He asked me, then looked back up to the shoreline.

I thought back to the stories dad would tell us as kids and early teenagers, one about a man named Q'wati, another named Tistilal. There was one in particular dad would tell us about when Rebecca and I would dress Jacob up in frilly dresses and he'd cry. 

Dad would warn us of Daskiya, _"the basket ogress that would capture misbehaved children in her basket and eat them._ " The story made Rebecca and I cry for three days. Mom never let dad tell us the story of Daskiya again, but it was hard to forget about something that frightened you so badly as a child. Of course, as an adult, I knew these stories were nothing more than legends.

"What about them?" I asked curiously.

"The stories of our people, how we came to be.. Did your dad ever tell you about the spirit warriors?"

I pondered for a second, trying to remember far back; my first bonfire with dad and the other elders. Vaguely remembering the fire crackling around dads face as he spoke, " _The spirit warriors were believed to have magic in their blood. The first spirit warriors had the ability to shift from man to wolf. Our populations were small, but the men were bound to the land by their magic bloodlines."_

"Wait, so are you like a spirit warrior?" It sounded silly coming out of my mouth.

"Not exactly." He said quickly. "We like to call ourselves protectors, instead. We look after the people here, take care of those who need it, no magic involved."

"No magic." I repeated.

Paul suddenly stopped walking, I took a few more steps ahead of him, turning to face him. The wind fiercely blowing my hair toward Paul. I tried to push some behind my ears, growing tired of hair slapping into my face.

I saw Paul in a new light, the sun illuminating the copper tones of his face. His jawline was sharp, his nose was slender, and his lips looked as if they held a million stories on the tip of his tongue. Something inside of me begged me to stay, to hear all of the stories that escaped his parted lips, one by one. 

"Did your dad ever mention the legends about imprinting?"

I shook my head. "What's imprinting?"

"It's involuntary. Something that can't be prevented. Sam told me it's the previous spirits showing us who we _belong_ with. Those who make the protectors stronger." He paused for a moment, taking in whatever expression I was wearing. I hung onto his words, trying to follow his lead. "That day on the beach, Rachel, I imprinted on _you_. I didn't plan it, hell, I didn't even believe in it until it happened to me!" He turned away from me now, kicking a pebble in front of him. A few moments later it finally plopped down into the ocean. 

"What does that even mean?" 

Paul felt tense, frustrated when he finally walked toward me. He was merely inches away from me now, I could feel the heat radiating off of him. The frustration inside of him must've rose his body temperature above the usual ninety-eight degrees. 

Concern washed over me, would he get sick again? At the very sight of me? In that moment I felt shame for him finding it so difficult to just talk to me. The shame was immediately washed away when he clasped both hands over my arms, his eyes were sincere. 

"I'm bound to you for life, Rachel Black. The first time I laid eyes on you, right here, I haven't been able to sleep without seeing you in my dreams. I can't do _anything_ , I can't breathe without thinking of you. It's driving me insane, It's driving the guys insane just listening to me..." He trailed off, closing his eyes for a second. Then opening them again, boring them into my very soul. "Wherever you go in this life, I'll be right there. Whatever you decide to do, I'll support it. If you tell me turn away right now and leave you alone, I would. But," sucking in air between his words, pleading with me now "Please don't tell me to go."

Our eyes stayed locked in place for a long moment. Words wouldn't escape my mouth, almost as if they were stuck somewhere in my body. Probably crushed by the sheer disbelief that the man I've only known for two days confessed his eternal tie to me.

I knew nothing about Paul, but standing here before him, looking into his heartfelt eyes, I felt like I'd known him my entire life. In this moment, he was my childhood best friend, he was my first love, my first heartbreak, the one I opened my soul to. The one that waited for me at home every day.

All of the other people in my life I had once loved faded away, and Paul took their place instead. He was there the whole time, wandering on the same Earth as I. Waiting for my return. Was he the force pulling me here before? Or was it my mom telling me that I needed to stop looking for love where it didn't exist for me, to come home and find where it was just waiting for me.

"Okay," I finally broke the silence. "I'll stay, for a few more days." Paul smiled warmly, pulling me into a strong embrace. Instead of frustration radiating from his body, I felt relief, love and hope all in one. His hand ran through my hair as he planted a kiss on top of my head. "Whatever you want me to be, Rachel, I'll be it."

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! I hoped you enjoyed this new chapter. I did my very best to explore some true Quileute Legends here. I hope you enjoyed them, there will be more to come. I also wrote Paul leaving out telling Rachel he's a shape shifter after all for a reason. It will come in handy later, trust me!


	8. Thanks, Emily.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the help of Emily Young, Paul is able to take Rachel out on their first official date. Things get cut short when his secret life interrupts.

( _Rachel_ )

  
”I don’t know Bec, I think I’m going to stay in La Push for a few more days.” I spoke into the phone. 

“Really?” She replied. “What brought _this_ on? I thought you couldn’t wait to leave.”

”Well,” I chewed on my lip before answering. “Paul came and saw me yesterday.. I was about to get in my car and he asked to talk.”

”Paul? The weird one from the beach?”

I laughed softly. “Yeah, the _weird_ one from the beach.”

“Wow... How did he get you to stay? What did he say to you?”

”Uh, I don’t know how to explain it Bec, he just told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me—he said I belonged in La Push..” I trailed off, knowing that even through Paul’s intuition I couldn’t stay here forever. Even if he wanted me to. “He asked me to just give him a chance, stay for another day or two.”

Rebecca let out a long sigh, “Wow, Rach. That’s a lot to take in. How do you feel about it?”

”I’m not sure yet. Something is telling me I should stay here, too. Just take the chance, see how it plays out.”

”I need to meet this guy! He must be pretty damn great if he can get you to take any kid of risk.” She laughed softly, turning somber. “I can’t imagine how hard it is to be there without mom.”

It certainly wasn’t easy. Early this morning I took the time before breakfast to dust off her old trinkets on top of cupboards in the kitchen. Granted it was a hassle to continuously move a wobbly kitchen chair around to reach them, but I felt accomplished once the simple task was over.

One of her old trinkets was a cookie jar that looked like an owl, taking off the top I found some of her favorite candies. They looked and smelled expired, but the small pieces of candy brought a smile to my face. Mom got creative hiding her favorite snacks around the house from three kids who all had sweet-tooth’s. 

I left the candies in the cookie jar, placing it back in it’s original spot on the cupboard. Leaving everything in its rightful place, handpicked by mom just felt like the right thing to do. Once things were cleaned up nicely around here, it was a charming little place. It desperately needed TLC that dad couldn’t manage on his own, and Jacob surely didn’t have the time for. The poor kid didn’t come home until near sunrise, still snoring away in his tiny bedroom. 

“Sometimes I still feel like she’s here with us, Bec. It was really hard at first, seeing all her things still lying around the house. But now it feels comforting. It’s how she would’ve wanted it.”

”I’m glad you’re feeling better, Rach. I have to go, though. Solomon will be home soon and I haven’t picked up around here at all.” She laughed. “Love you, sis.”

”I love you, too.”

****

  
When I announced to dad that I’d be staying a few more days, he was definitely pleased, but not at all surprised. “You said that something brought you here, Rachel. Have you found it yet?”

”That’s why I’m staying, I think I’m close to finding it.” I offered him a small smile.

Since I’d be staying a few more days I decided it was time to spiff up my bedroom a bit. I couldn’t handle the dusty sheets making me constantly sneeze. Bundling them up in my arms I headed for the small washer and dryer at the end of the hallway. They sat near the back door, giving me a nice view of the beautiful day outside. It hasn’t rained in La Push for two days, that gave me some optimism on my deciding to stay. 

As I pushed the comforter and bed sheets into the top load washer, dad wheeled down to me. “What about work, Rachel?” He asked me curiously.   
  
“I told them both I was so sick I couldn’t get out of bed,” I laughed, leaning against the washer, facing dad. “They seemed to believe the story, I think I sold it pretty well.”

“Lying isn’t good, you know.” He said playfully. “If not for my lying, you’d be sitting here by yourself right now.” I retorted, now pouring the detergent and softener onto the bed clothes. “It seems like Jacob isn’t much company these days.”

Dad turned his head to look toward Jacob’s bedroom door. Cracked slightly, allowing his loud snoring to be heard throughout the house. “I don’t mind, he’s a good kid.” He smiled softly. As I started the washing machine and closed the door, somebody knocked on the front door.

”I’ll get it.” Dad announced, wheeling his way to the front door. I made my way back into the small bedroom, feeling overwhelmed as I looked around the bubble-gum pink walls.   
  
“Rachel,” Dad called down the hallway. “It’s for you.”

I placed my hand on the doorframe, peeking down the hallway. “For me?” 

“It’s Paul Lahote.” He smiled all-knowingly. I pushed my eyebrows together, making a face. How could dad know what was going on between Paul and I? Maybe he didn’t and I was just overthinking it.

I began walking down the hallway, allowing my hand to slip across dads shoulders as I passed him. He made his way back to the living room, allowing us privacy by the front door.

”Hi, Paul Lahote.” I said smiling.

That alone brought a grin to his face. “Rachel Black,” he said formally, still grinning. “Do you want to come to dinner with me this evening?”

”Dinner?” I asked curiously, crossing my arms. “You have a car?”

”Yes ma’am.”

”Money?”

”Enough to take you out with, yes.” He crossed his arms now, matching my stance. The grin didn’t leave his face. 

“I’d love to go to dinner with you, Paul.” I leaned against the doorframe now, Paul standing on the downward ramp allowed our faces to be facing one another. He was inches away from mine. “Give me thirty minutes, and I’ll be out. Are you alright with waiting?” I asked, almost flirting with him.

”For you, yeah.” He nodded and headed back down the ramp. “Thirty minutes, though. I’m holding you to it!” He yelled back at me, still smiling. Once he was gone I realized I was smiling, too. My cheeks almost sore. 

“Dad!” I said, shutting the door behind me. “I have a date with Paul in thirty minutes.” 

“Well, kiddo, you better start getting ready!” Dad looked happy, usually talking about a boy would cause him to scowl. I wasn’t sure why he was so approving, maybe since he was friends with Jacob it gave dad a sense of security that Paul was a good guy.   
  
Halfway through fixing my hair, Jacob made his was drowsily out of his room. “Decided to stay?” He asked, covering his eyes from the bright bathroom light.   
  
“For a few more days. Is that okay with you?” I asked teasingly.

His eyes finally adjusting to the light, he stepped closer. “Going out with Paul?” He asked grudgingly.

”Yeah, try not to sound _too_ excited.” I scoffed.

”It’s not that Rach, it’s just, you’re my sister! And he’s my friend. Kind of. It’s weird. And it’s hard for me to have to hear about it.” He made a gross face, now walking away. Allowing me to finally finish my hair and smile at my appearance in the mirror.

I wasn’t a supermodel, my face wasn’t perfect, but Paul _looked_ at me like I was. That alone made me happy. Butterflies danced around my stomach as I closed the door to now get dressed.

Slipping off my pajamas and sliding into a tight pair of blue jeans, a long sleeved navy henley. I left the buttons on the top undone, revealing my collarbone and the freckles that flowed across it.

My outfit was simple, but I felt put together enough for wherever Paul decided to take me. I would be satisfied eating potato chips on his front porch, as long as I got to be with him.

”I’m leaving,” I announced. “I’ll be back...sometime.” 

“Don’t have too much fun, I’d rather not hear about it later.” Jacob said, scowling. 

Dad ignoring Jacob’s comment smiled in my direction. “Have a nice evening, sweetheart. You look beautiful.”

”Thank you.” I leaned down and kissed the top of his head, squeezing his shoulder before making my way toward the door. Throwing my coat over my arms and my purse over my shoulder, I took a deep breath and walked outside to see Paul standing beside his car.

He was wearing the same grin from earlier, hands in his pockets. He wore a pair of blue jeans today, full length. Another simple t-shirt, although this one was black. He looked sleek, put together. Unlike the other times I’d seen him. Paul looked well rested, too. The thought of him getting a good nights rest brought me happiness.

”Where to?” I asked walking down the ramp.

”You’ll see when we get there.” He opened the passenger door for me, his car was older than mine, but well taken care of. An air freshener hung from the mirror, I could tell it was new.

The thought of Paul being insecure about his car not smelling good made me chuckle under my breath. Thankfully by the time he climbed in the car my mind was elsewhere. Him sitting so close to me caused the butterflies to reappear.   
  
The car suddenly felt like a sauna, I snuck my fingers over to the control panel on the door frame and cracked my window. He laughed quietly, backing down the small driveway.   
  


****  
  


”So, no fancy restaurant..” He trailed off. I could feel that Paul was nervous, too. Knowing he probably felt the same way I did was almost comforting. Looking at Paul closely made me realize how truly handsome he was.

I wonder if other girls saw him the way I did. _Of course they did_. The thought suddenly making me feel a tad insecure. Was Paul only doing this because the imprint told him to? I still wasn’t quite sure how this worked.

”No fancy restaurant?” I asked.

”No, but I put this all together myself. Well, Emily helped me.”

”Who’s Emily? I’ve heard that name before.”

”Sam’s fiancée.” He looked over at me, “She’s his imprint.”

i suddenly broke Paul’s gaze. Looking straight ahead I began to wonder how many more ‘imprints’ were out there. Had Jacob imprinted on Bella Swan? Is that why he was acting so mopey? What would happen if you imprinted on someone who’s heart belonged to someone else? 

“How did they meet?” I asked curiously.

”Oh, well, Sam used to be with Emily’s cousin.” He paused, I felt my mouth drop open. He took in my expression, laughing a little. “Yeah, a little messed up isn’t it?”

”Well were they still together when he, imprinted?”

”Yeah. It just hit him out of nowhere, the next day he was on Emily’s doorstep telling her how much he wanted to be with her.”

”And she just let him in?”

”Not for awhile.” He shook his head. “Emily felt guilty for what had happened. But.” He shrugged. “The spirits had other ideas in mind I suppose.”

“Wow..” I said softly. “Is Emily nice?”

”Oh yeah; she takes good care of us all. She helped me come up with the whole evening. I’m, uh, new to this stuff.” I could see his cheeks flushing red.

”You are?” I pressed.

”Yeah, I’ve never been on a date. So I wasn’t sure where to start.”

”That’s a little hard for me to believe.” I looked down at my hands, playing with my fingernails. “I mean, you’re beautiful. I’m sure the girls around here know that.” I studied his face yet again, his jaw clenching.

”I didn’t notice any of them really. I wasn’t looking for anything with anybody.. Not until you came here.”

His very words suddenly made me feel very special. I smiled warmly at him, allowing my hand to rest on top of his. I suddenly forgot we even had a destination until Paul was pulling into a long driveway. “Alright,” he said, putting the car in park and shutting off the ignition. “When you get out I want you to close your eyes.”

”Where are we?” I asked curiously. 

“Just wait for me and close your eyes.” He smiled, shutting his car door and walking over to open mine. I shut my eyes and allowed him to grab my hand, leading me out of the car. His fingers stayed intertwined with mine. They were so warm I thought my fingers would melt away at any given moment. 

We walked for a few moments before he finally said I could open my eyes. Once they were opened and adjusted to the light again, I saw a small blanket laid out on the grass. The blanket was blue, surrounded by tall candles in the grass.

In the middle of the blanket sat a small basket. I assume that would be our dinner, probably where Emily came in handy. Taking in the scenery around us, the house sat right in front of another small beach La Push offered. It was probably one of the smallest ones here, but still breathtaking. Waves lapped against rocks in the distance, birds chirping and soaring around the tall trees.

”Oh, Paul, this is all just beautiful.” I put a hand over my face, trying to not cry at the kind gesture. Nobody had been this thoughtful toward me in a long time. He took my free hand and guided me toward the blanket, sitting down before me. I sat on the opposite side, facing him. “I’m glad you like it. It’s nice out here.”   
  


“Sometimes I’d forget how beautiful La Push is.” I said in agreement. “Is this your house?”

”Yeah, it’s still going under some renovations. So don’t mind the tarp around the roof.”

”I don’t mind. You’ve seen my tiny house.” I put my hands up. “I don’t have any room to judge anybody.” He laughed softly, beginning to set food out in front of us. One plate had chicken salad sandwiches topped with fresh tomatoes. The other plate had two pieces of strawberry cake. “Thank god for Emily, because I can’t cook.” 

Mom passed away before we were truly old enough to learn how to make meals. She taught us small things here and there as pre-teens. But loosing her before even graduating high school left us clueless on a lot of things a woman usually knows how to do. “I can’t either.” I admitted. “But all of this looks lovely. It was very kind of Emily to make this for us.”

“I think you two will got along really well.” I didn’t have any girlfriends back in Pullman. I moved away too long ago to have any in La Push, so thinking about a possible friendship blossoming with a woman much like me made me smile. 

As the evening grew dim, the candlelight grew warm against our faces. “Tell me about yourself.” I said before taking a bite of my sandwich. 

He looked at his food for a moment before answering. “Well, I’m graduating high school this year.” My eyes widened. “But I’m eighteen.” He quickly added, laughing at my expression. I covered my mouth as I laughed with him.

”I stay really busy with the guys these days. It means a lot to me to keep the people safe around here. I mean, I’ve lived here my whole life you know? I take a lot of pride in what we do..” He took a bite of his food and swallowed before continuing. “I had other friends at school, but they didn’t understand the work I do with Sam, so they faded away after awhile.” He almost looked sad, losing his old friends must’ve felt like closing a different chapter on his life. I tried to look understanding, I’ve been in his shoes before.

”I’m really thankful for my new friendships, though” He added once seeing the concern on my face. “My dad is pretty supportive too, but my mom left about a year ago. I haven’t heard from her much since.”

”Oh, Paul, I’m sorry.” I placed my hand over his again. Welcoming the warmth his skin held instead of being afraid of getting burnt. 

He looked down at my hand, facing his up so he could trail his fingers along my knuckles. I shivered at the touch. “It’s alright. I mean, it’s her loss. My dad misses her a lot, but I’m sure one day he’ll find someone else.”

”I’m sure he will, too. If he’s anything like you it should be fairly easy.” I offered Paul a warm smile. Through my words I allowed him to know how high my opinion of him already was. In just a mere two days he’d opened his soul up to me, inviting me in. It took a very brave person to be able to do so.

“I lost my mom before I graduated high school, too.”

”I know, I’ve heard Jacob talk about her some.” His voice was soft. “I’m really sorry for your loss, Rachel.”

”Thank you, Paul.” My voice cracked slightly. It wasn’t very often I felt like I could be so open around someone. It felt like all of my feelings, all of my life secrets were laid out in front of him on the blanket beneath us. 

“If it helps any, I think you’re very strong for coming back here after all these years.. I mean, I know it’s probably not easy. That’s why you wanted to leave, right?” I nodded. “But you came anyway, and I’m really glad you did.”

”I’m glad I did, too.” I squeezed his hand. “It almost felt like some force was pulling me down here.” He smiled like he knew exactly what I meant. As I continued eating, I could feel Paul’s eyes studying my every move. The gesture made warmth pool at my core. Nobody had ever looked at me this way. I almost felt like he could see through my clothes.

”You’re very beautiful, Rachel Black.” He whispered, a finger running along my jawline. I gasped at his touch. His fingers tucked a curl behind my ear, planting a small kiss beneath it. 

Even though his touch felt like hot coals, I shivered. He stayed there for a moment, breathing against my neck. I was suddenly very happy I put on my favorite perfume before coming here tonight. “T-thank you.” I choked out. 

I felt him smile against my skin. He pulled away, hand resting in the groove of my neck. His eyes looked into mine. “Please stay in La Push, Rachel. For me.” My heart began to beat faster, thumping against my chest. 

“Paul,” I whispered. “What about work?”

”We’ll figure it out.” He sounded sure of his words. “Just trust me here.”

”Okay.” I finally breathed, nodding. His hand moved slowly back up to my face, cupping my cheek. His hand was huge compared to my face, but it felt so familiar. Like his hands were made to touch my skin.

Sitting here with him while the evening turned to night felt comfortable. Being with Paul felt like I’d finally come home after a long trip. A trip I wanted to take, but was relieved that it was finally over. “I’ll stay.”

The familiar grin spread across Paul’s face. I couldn’t help but smile in return. He leaned closer to me, I closed my eyes and prepared to feel his warm lips against mine. I waited a few moments, but his lips never met mine. 

Curiously, I opened my eyes. At the tree line five men slowly approached where we sat. Paul shut his eyes tightly, looking frustrated. “I’m really sorry, Rachel.” He whispered through his anger. “I’m really sorry.” His eyes opened again, sincerity shining through.

Sam spoke into the night. “Paul, we need you.” Sam looked over at me politely, given the circumstance. “Hi, Rachel.” He almost smiled at me, but could feel my own frustration coming to the surface. 

“You guys can’t wait another hour?” I protested. “Really?”

Paul’s hand dropped to his side. Quickly getting to his feet, watching him take commands from Sam so easily made me furious. “You’re just going to let him do that?” I spat at Paul. “Really?”

His eyes now full of hurt, looking down at me. “I’m sorry.” Clenching his fist then releasing it, offering me a hand to help get off the ground. Instead of taking his hand, I steadied myself off the ground myself. “How am I supposed to get home? Walk?” I patted my hands on my jeans.

Paul reached into his pocket, keys began to jingle in my direction. “You can take my car, I’ll pick it up tomorrow.” He wouldn’t even look at me, his voice heavy with shame.

Almost as if he wanted me to just go without question. I felt hot tears forming around my eyes. “Alright.” I choked out. “Thanks.” My fingers brushed Paul’s warm hand as I grabbed his keys, his chest rose at the touch.

Finally turning away from him, I leaned down to blow out the candles, then walked toward the house. As I walked around the side, I could feel Paul’s eyes boring into my back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I wanted to leave a quick note to explain why Rachel appears so oblivious to the existence of vampires or werewolves. In Stephanie Meyers series, Paul doesn’t imprint on Rachel until sometime between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. (My story takes place in the middle of New Moon, carrying into Eclipse, etc.) From what I gathered Paul was the one to break the news to her about vampires and werewolves, not her dad or Jacob. Just wanted to add that in here in case anyone felt confused!


	9. Chain of Circumstances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul’s evening with Rachel is cut short when Sam informs him the threat on the horizon is growing stronger. Things grow tense between the pack when they discover Paul’s secret from Rachel.

( _Paul_ )

  
“Dude, you _still_ haven’t told her?” Jared asked in disbelief. 

“You don’t know that.” I seethed.

”It’s pretty damn obvious by the look on her face! She has no idea what’s going on.” He retorted.

“Yeah, I think Rachel would’ve greeted me a little different this morning knowing her brother could shift into a giant _wolf._ ” Jacob added. 

“Alright,” Sam announced, noticing my anger growing by the second. Sam stretched his hands out to fill the distance between Jared and I. “We have bigger problems to worry about right now.” Sam nodded in Jared’s direction, then mine, holding eye contact with me. 

“The redhead is back.” He spoke. 

“Last night she was near Canada. What the hell does she want!?” My eyebrows drew together, the thought of that filthy bloodsucker getting anywhere near Rachel caused me to convulse. 

“We don’t know yet, but she’s not alone this time. Jacob tracked another scent through Forks.”

”One of the Cullen’s?”

”No, he’d recognize it.” Sam answered, looking at Jacob now. 

“You can probably still smell their stench on Bella.” I laughed. Jacob glared at me angrily. Sam yet again broke the tension by laying out our game plan for the night. Embry and Quil were still new to all of this, so Sam would stay close to them in case anything happened.

Jared, Jacob and I would track the bloodsuckers scents hoping to get ahold of them before the nights over. The plan for tonight was similar to previous plans, this time we had more than one leech to chase after. 

The redhead was damn fast, I’ll give her that. Between the four of us chasing her (before Embry and Quil’s transformation) she still managed to barely slip away. It was damn frustrating knowing the danger lingering over people’s heads while they slept. It was also damn frustrating trying to keep my focus knowing Rachel was left in the dark, thanks to my own stupid insecurities. 

Rarely would I dread shifting, but tonight I wanted to keep my self-loathing thoughts to myself. The other guys shifted before me, making their way swiftly toward the forest line. I stood for a moment, trying to cram all of my thoughts aside, focusing on the threat before us.

I knew my status as a protector, the responsibility I held. My loyalties were at war with each other in my brain. One side told me that my pack came first, like it always did, but the new unfamiliar side told me that I needed to run to Rachel’s house and tell her how unbelievably sorry I was for having no right explanation. I grimaced knowing she may not accept me again at all, for all I knew she was probably in her car racing back to Pullman. 

Sam’s dark figure stood between the trees, huffing as he waited for me to shift. Looking at Sam reminded me with one look that in this moment my loyalty to the pack came first. Maybe they wouldn’t tomorrow, maybe not next week, but for tonight they did. 

Finally I released all of my anger and frustration with one swift motion, transforming into something that made me feel far more powerful than I ever did as a human. Once I began running for the trees, I quickly darted past Sam. My wolf instincts took over, allowing my life outside of my duties to slowly fade away. 

****

” _I can’t find their scent anymore._ ” Jacob came to a halt, looking over his shoulder at the rest of us. “ _We lost her, again_.”

Disappointment washed over all of us. My wolf instincts were slowly melting away, allowing thoughts of Rachel Black to start seeping through. I began to wonder about her drive home after Sam’s interruption.

God, I hope she didn’t cry. I really fucking hope I didn’t make her cry. How lowly she must think of me to put Sam before her, after promising her she could trust me. Rachel couldn’t trust me at all, not even a little, knowing I’ve been keeping my biggest secret of all from her. 

Would she even see me again? I imagined Rachel opening the front door, quickly shutting it in my face and going on about her life. I planned to wait on her doorstep forever. I’d beg for her forgiveness every day if that’s what it took. 

_“Paul, you have it bad dude.”_ Embry commented, standing ahead of me. Embry was getting the hang of this new lifestyle a little faster than Quil was. I didn’t doubt Quil’s abilities, but Embry seemed to feel more comfortable with the sudden change. 

I tried to offer Embry and Quil some reassurance here and there, but my mind had been such a clusterfuck lately I found it hard to connect with them just yet.

I huffed at Embry, turning away from the pack and making my way toward Emily and Sam’s house. Emily was the only person I could think of that would know how to guide me through this. The only two people that knew remotely what I was going through was Emily and Sam.

Jared had been able to tell Kim with ease about the mythological world he belonged to, and she immediately accepted her tie to it for life. Sam had to beg Emily for days to even look at him, even sleeping outside on her back porch for weeks. Unfortunately Rachel didn’t have a covered porch, so I’d be in for some dreary sleeping conditions.

Once we arrived to Emily’s, the sun was beginning to rise along the horizon. A light mist of fog cradled the damp grass in her back yard. Once shifting back, I realized my lack of clothing.

Typically I was pretty good at remembering to undress before shifting, but due to my overwhelming urge to run away from the world around me, my clothes exploded alongside my body. Pieces of torn fabric were probably laying in my backyard. There goes another good pair of blue jeans. 

Thankfully Emily grew used to us losing so many clothes; once a month she’d go to a small department store in Forks and buy us all packs of t-shirts, socks, and blue jeans. She even took the time to cut them right at the knee herself.

A few pairs of the handmade cut-offs sat on the porch banister. I slipped into a pair and made my way through the back door. “Emily?” I called out. It was early, most people would still be in bed, but Emily sat at her kitchen table holding a mug full of black coffee. The house smelled wonderfully of coffee grounds and cooked sausage. 

“Yes?” She replied, bringing the warm mug to her lips as I entered the room. “Can we talk?” I asked desperately. Judging by her eyes she immediately knew something was off. Either that or the misery was radiating off of me, engulfing the room around us. 

“I take it Sam interrupted your evening?” The mug sat on the table now, but her hands stayed wrapped around it. She wore a concerned expression. 

“Yeah.” I spoke quietly, I didn’t want to blame Sam. “But it’s my fault, for not telling Rachel.”

”Telling her what?”

”She doesn’t know that Paul can morph into a giant wolf!” Jared entered the room, tapping my shoulder as he walked by. He wore a smug expression that made me tense up. I clenched my fists against the back of a kitchen chair, knuckles turning white.

”You didn’t tell her?” Emily leaned closer to me, disbelief flooding her voice.

”I couldn’t!” I pushed the chair and turned away. “She doesn’t deserve to be wrapped up in this shit.” 

“Who deserves this then, exactly?” Emily downed more coffee, looking irritated by my statement. “Nobody asks for this, Paul. But the spirits _chose_ Rachel for a reason.”

”That doesn’t make it fair.” My voice grew weak as I spoke. “She has a whole life out there already. A life that I’m sure has no room for a boyfriend that can turn into a werewolf at the drop of a hat.”

”You don’t know that, Paul.” Emily rose from her seat, pushing in her chair and leaving her coffee behind. She grabbed my arm and pulled me into the living room. Urging me to take a seat on the worn loveseat. “You could be exactly what she needs.” Emily sat across from me now, clasping her hands as she leaned toward me.

”She can feel everything you’re feeling, Paul.” She spoke softly now. “Everything Sam feels, I feel it. If he gets hurt out there, I know..” 

“What do you mean?”

Emily then leaned back into her seat, letting out a soft, hopeless sigh. “She’s feeling the same as you. You’re bottling up all of this shame, this guilt, this anger! The only place it’s going by you keeping it in is directly to her. She’s hurting too. You may hurt for different reasons, but until you get yourself lined out she isn’t going to feel any better.”

Silence filled the room for a few moments. “What if she doesn’t accept me? What if she’s _scared_ of me Em?” 

“I know I’ve said this before, but I truly feel like everything is going to work out just fine.” She offered me a small sliver of comfort, clasping her hand over mine. “Just tell her the truth, Paul. If you don’t do it now she’ll figure it out eventually..” Her hand went back to meet her other one. “I don’t think she’s going to be scared of you, either.” Emily’s kind words made me smile, she truly felt like the sister and mother I never had wrapped into one.

”Thank you, Em.” I said while getting up to my feet. “For everything.”

”Anytime.” 

****

Walking to Rachel’s house from Emily’s was harder than I expected. Probably because of the twelve hour shift I’d just pulled without eating or resting afterward. My mind wasn’t going to rest until I saw Rachel’s face again, and my stomach certainly wasn’t going to hold any food down until she told me she forgave me. 

I nervously walked up the ramp to her front door, taking a deep breath before knocking three times. Her room was in the very back of the little home, so I wanted to be sure she heard my knocking. 

The front door had a small window in the middle, the shade pulled halfway down. She’d know who was at the door before even opening it, and given who was standing in front of it, she may not consider opening it at all. 

I heard footsteps approaching the front of the house, anxiety rising in my chest. _Breathe, Paul._ I told myself. “ _Everything is going to be just fine._ ” Emily’s voice echoed throughout my head. The footsteps stopped somewhere along the kitchen, she must’ve saw me and was contemplating her options. “Rachel?” I said loud enough for her to hear me. “Please let me come in.”

“Go home, Paul.” She answered hoarsely. 

“Please just give me the chance to explain what happened.”

The footsteps came toward the door, the knob began to twist slowly. The door only cracked open enough for Rachel’s head and shoulders to fill the gap. “What do you want from me Paul?” She asked weakly. Her voice wrapped around my heart and squeezed it painfully.

Her eyes looked tired and red, like she’d been crying. I wanted so badly to run my fingers over her soft eyelids, my lips following shortly after. Her long dark hair, although a complete mess, wrapped around her face beautifully. Curls resting comfortably along her collarbone. The very sight of her sun-kissed skin made me shiver. “I want _you_.” I managed to choke out the words.

”Do I come before or after Sam?” She said grudgingly. 

“Before, _always_ before. Something came up last night Rachel. You have to believe me. Sam wouldn’t interrupt just to be an asshole.”

Rachel stepped back, letting the door open before her. I looked at her for permission to come in, she stepped aside, giving me enough room to take a step through the door. “You look like hell.” She spoke softly now.

”It was a long night.” I swallowed, standing directly in front of her. The distance between our bodies was minimal, yet felt like miles. I craved her touch desperately. Looking down at her I could see a small tear travel down her face. Did she crave mine just as desperately? I smoothed her tear away slowly with my thumb. “ _Please_ don’t cry.” 

Her head quickly settled into my chest, tears rolling against my skin. My arms wrapped tightly around her as she wept. “Oh, Rachel, please don’t cry. I’m so sorry.” Something inside of me constricted so tightly it was becoming hard to breathe. 

“It’s not just you, Paul.” She said shakily. Rachel pulled her face away from my chest, wiping away her own tears. “It’s just everything. It’s so hard to be here..” She trailed away, walking into the living room. “It’s so hard to be here and feel like I’m alone.”

”What do you mean?” I asked, wanting to pull her into my embrace again. 

“It’s so hard to be here without my mom. Or my sister. Jacob’s always gone, and my dad is sick.” She sobbed harder, closing her eyes tightly and bringing a hand around her mouth. “I didn’t look after him when she died, and his diabetes got so bad. Now he can’t even walk and it feels like it’s my fault.” 

Unable to handle the distance between us any longer, I put a hand on Rachel’s shoulder and pulled her body against mine. Her cries became louder. For a moment tears began to escape my eyes, too.

” _She feels everything you feel.”_ Emily’s voice rang in my ears again. As Rachel wept, I couldn’t register anything else around us. My feelings I’d carried inside of me all night didn’t hold me down any longer, instead they melted away to make room for Rachel’s pain. 

This was something she truly needed, something she hadn’t done in a long time. I could feel that nobody had listened to her this way since her mother passed, nobody held her while she cried. Nothing else mattered to me except erasing all of Rachel’s hurt. 

“None of that is your fault.” I spoke softly, running my fingers through her knotted hair. Planting a small kiss on the top of her head. “None of it. Do you hear me? You had a life to live, Rachel. You can’t take care of everybody.”

”I still shouldn’t have abandoned everyone I love.” 

“Sometimes we do things in the moment without thinking rationally—sometimes we don’t realize the affects it has on everyone else until it’s too late. You can’t go back and change the past, Rachel. But I assure you, none of your actions were wrong.” I pushed her away lightly, allowing myself to take in her beautiful face. “We all have different ways of healing.” 

“Why did you leave last night?” She asked, looking into my eyes pitifully. I couldn’t bear to cause her any more discomfort right now, breaking the news that I could transform into a giant werewolf would probably cause something she couldn’t handle right now. 

“There was some trouble with a few teens,” I tried to lie on the spot. I felt so damn guilty for lying to Rachel. Especially with her looking at me this way, _especially_ with her heart breaking right in front of me. I felt like the most disgusting guy on the planet. I tried to conceal those feelings so she wouldn’t question me further. “One of the parents wanted us to come and check it out. They vandalized the empty building near the supermarket. Sam called the police once we found out drugs were involved. They were really young.” 

Rachel believed all of it, and I think that made me feel even worse. Something I didn’t think was possible in this moment. “Wow, you gonna join the police force or something?” She teased, sniffling while giving me a sweet smile. 

“I’d be a good cop,” I laughed. “You have any handcuffs we could practice with?” Joking around with Rachel made me somewhat forget about all the guilt I felt. The guys were going to be so damn mad at me once they found out. I could almost hear them telling me how big of a pansy I am. 

“Gross, Paul!” She pushed my shoulder, laughing. 

Laughter faded away, my hands ran down her arms, studying the loose grey t-shirt draped over her body. “I think you need some more rest, Rachel. You’ve had a rough night.”

”So have you..” Her hand brushed against my side. “Have you even slept?”

”Not a wink.” I smiled softly.

”My bed isn’t very big...” She said nervously. “Do you want the cou-“ Before Rachel could finish her sentence I scooped her into my arms. Squealing happily she asked “What are you doing!?” 

“We’re going to rest.” All of the problems looming above my head melted away, holding Rachel in my arms like this made everything feel temporarily held together. I decided to live in the moment, pushing aside thoughts of when things would consequently fall apart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this new chapter! Things will be picking up very soon in this story. Writing through Paul’s POV is always fun and intriguing for me. I love giving life to a character that was so glossed over in the franchise. Do you all enjoy seeing this side of Paul? Do you think Rachel should feel guilty for leaving and not returning after her mother’s death?
> 
> May I also add how excited I am for a Rachel/Emily duo?


	10. Go home, Charlie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul continues to grapple with his feelings for Rachel. Charlie comes looking for answers from Billy, and leaves empty handed. Rachel begins to question the events unfolding around her.

_(Paul)_

  
Rachel’s room looked like a teenage girl threw up all over it. “Wow,” I said teasingly as we walked inside the bedroom “nice room.” Rachel laughed nervously, quick to explain herself.

”It hasn’t been touched since we left..” She suddenly looked sad, the room must’ve gave her a sense of nostalgia. I could tell just by looking at her that she wished for one more day as a teenager in this small, bubble-gum pink bedroom. 

Plopping Rachel down on her small mattress allowed me to picture her five years younger. Her hair cut shorter, resting right above her clavicle. Freckles appearing along her nose from spending too much time in the sun. I could picture Rachel’s entire life in front of me, teenage Rachel seemed warm, happy. Feeling like she had the entire world at her fingertips. 

I could picture her trying to do homework on her bed, asking her sister how to solve a certain math problem she’d been stuck on for a few minutes. Her mom peeking through the cracked door, telling the girls that dinner would be ready soon.

Rachel would have the smallest attitude through her reply, looking at her now I could see how much she regretted answering her mom in those tones. Teenage Rachel was something she wanted to forget and relive all at once. Almost as if she were waiting for her mom to walk through the door, allowing her a second chance. 

If only she knew I’d live through all of my regrets a million different times just to be in this very room, standing before her. “Lay with me.” She said softly. “You look exhausted.”

I looked at her small, twin sized bed questionably. “Will I fit?” To be honest, I barely fit in my full sized bed back home. Dad was still renovating the house since my first shift, so money was pretty tight. It didn’t help that running patrols almost every night made it impossible to have my own income. Knowing I couldn’t buy Rachel nice, extravagant gifts that women typically loved bothered me more than outgrowing my bed at home.

Rachel turned to her side, scooting far against the wall. The small, empty space on the bed suddenly made me nervous. I’d been close to her before, I’d touched her arms, her neck and face. But I had yet to _lay_ with her. 

Especially in bed designed for a normal sized pre-teen. I swallowed and filled the empty space beside of her. The bed began to crack under our weight, Rachel started to laugh. “Oh my gosh, Paul. You’re gonna break my bed!” 

I laughed in return. “If this thing breaks, I hope you’re alright with sleeping on the floor.”

She shook her head. “If this thing breaks I’ll have the NSYNC posters to keep me company beside Rebecca’s bed. Just try to not put us through the floor.”

Moving carefully, I scooted closer toward Rachel. The bed creaked a little more as a I shifted my weight, but for now it remained above the ground. I nervously tucked a stray hair behind her ear, allowing myself to see all of her face. 

Rachel was flawless, even in the early hours of the morning. I had the feeling not many people got the chance to see her like this, at her most vulnerable. It made me feel closer to her, Emily’s words of affirmation gave me hope that maybe Rachel felt the same way. 

Her tired eyes eventually lost their focus and shut before me. Her long, black eyelashes casting shadows along her cheekbones. She began drifting into a deep sleep, her breathing turning into a steady rhythm that filled the room. After planting a small kiss on her forehead, I allowed myself to drift away, too.   
  


****

A familiar voice filled the room. “Rachel, Paul, it’s time to get up.” I could feel Rachel begin to squirm and stretch beside of me. I had almost forgotten about our sleeping arrangement and practically rolled into the floor as I woke up. Steadying myself with one hand on the bed, Rachel began to giggle at me. The familiar voice turned out to be Sue Clearwater, who was having a small laugh in the doorway. “Not funny.” I scoffed.

Sue Clearwater was one of the very few insiders. Her husband, Harry Clearwater sat on the council beside of Rachel’s father. I slightly resented Billy Black for keeping his daughter so in the dark about the most prominent legends of our culture. 

Billy knew Jacob had shape-shifting genes, due to his great-grandfather being Ephraim Black. The most admired chief amongst the Quileute tribe. We all secretly knew Jacob was the rightful Alpha, but since Sam shifted before any of us he currently held that title.   
  
A part of me knew that I was no better than her father, though. Billy kept Rachel in the dark to protect her, I’m sure. The same as me. I truthfully resented my own self more than I _ever_ could Billy Black. The very man that helped bring the girl I loved into this world.

I could see how much Billy loved his daughters, since Rachel had returned to La Push his entire demeanor changed. Her father seemed like this was the first time he could take a breath of fresh air in years. Perhaps she had this affect on all of us, not just me, who was hopelessly in love with all of her. 

“What time is it?” Rachel’s sleepy voice interrupted my thoughts. 

“It’s four in the afternoon.” Sue replied.

”Four!?” She gasped. “We slept all day!” 

I laughed at her expression. “I take it you don’t sleep in very often?” Sue began to slip out of the doorway, allowing us a little privacy. “Not until four! The entire day is gone.” She almost sounded sad, knowing I’d have to disappear again tonight, for some unknown reason.

The guilt suddenly creeping it’s way back into my chest. God, I needed to tell Rachel soon. I was just too afraid of losing her, which made me feel weak. I was afraid she was waiting for some bad news to give her an excuse to leave La Push and never look back. 

“Not the entire day,” I mused. “We have a few hours of daylight left.” As Rachel sat up her hair was even more of a mess than this morning, a puddle of drool sat on her pillow. I smiled at the sight. She must’ve stayed up over half the night, or maybe the entire night.

As uncomfortable as it may be, I wanted so badly to spend every night in this tiny bed with her. Just to know she was alright, and so she would know I had no plans on leaving. Not until she told me to.

“Do you plan on taking your car back home?” She spoke through a yawn.

”I need to. Would you want to come with me?” Any excuse to spend more time with her. 

“Hmm, sure.” She smiled softly. “Just give me a few moments, okay? I’m sure I look a mess.” Rising to her feet and grabbing some clothes out a drawer, I walked toward her. My hand brushed against her arms as she turned to face me. “You’re beautiful, Rachel.” I said sweetly. “Mess and all.”

Her cheeks flushed, pink rising to the surface of her russet skin. Her eyes ran down my chest, then back up to my face. I suddenly remembered my lack of clothing, only wearing my usual cut-offs. Being underdressed was something I never considered until Rachel looked at me _this_ way.

Something was awakening inside of my already warm body. The temperature around us rising at a steady pace. Quickly, Rachel began to fumble with the clothes in her arms. She must’ve felt the heat, too, since she scrambled out of the room with pink cheeks. I looked down at the floor, suddenly realizing why Rachel’s embarrassment was so apparent.

 _Oh god_ , I thought. _Embry was right_ , _I really have it bad._ The girl can’t even look at me without me getting excited _._ I desperately hoped Rachel knew I’d never expect anything from her if she didn’t want it. 

After waiting a few moments to collect myself, I made my way down the small hallway. Old family pictures hung along the brown shiplap wall.

One picture in particular caught my eye, a picture of Rachel as a child with her family. Rachel, Rebecca and Jacob sitting in the laps of their parents. Rachel’s mom had beautiful, short blonde hair. Her eyes were emerald, just as Rachel’s. Billy looked youthful, happy. Jacob’s face wore an unhappy expression, as if he really didn’t want to take pictures that day. Especially not in a little grey suit, surely put on him by his mother.

Looking at the picture made me feel sad, knowing that this little family hadn’t been this happy in years. I was sad knowing I’d never have the chance to meet Rachel’s mother, and thank her for bringing such a beautiful young woman into the world. If only shape-shifting gave you the ability to time travel. 

Sue Clearwater stood in the kitchen, fumbling with pots and pants in the cupboards. They made loud clanging noises as she grumbled to herself. “Ugh, I hate fooling with these things.”

”Need some help?” I offered, causing her to jump a little. She put a hand on her chest, “God, you scared me Paul.”

”You really couldn’t hear him coming down the hall?” Harry added.

”I can’t hear anything because of these damn pots. I’m trying to find the one we use for soup.” 

“It’s in the very back, Sue.” Billy yelled from the living room. Sue groaned and crouched down, resuming her search. Harry pulled out the chair beside of him at the table. “Sit.” He said politely.

”Hi, Harry.” I took the open seat.

”How are you doing?” He asked, arms sitting on the tabletop.

”I’m pretty good now that I got some sleep.”

”I’d say you boys are tired,” He nodded sympathetically. “Does Rachel know where you were?” I paused, thinking of a way to answer. My silence allowed Harry to form his own answer, he looked at me seriously.

”What’s your plan, then?” He now whispered. 

Frustration began rising to the surface, desperate to stop it in its tracks I cupped my hands over my face. Trying to focus on something else. I didn’t have a plan. I seriously needed a plan. “I don’t know!” I dropped my hands to the table a little harder than I intended. Harry didn’t jump, used to our tempers sometimes getting the best of us.

”Maybe..Jacob could tell her?” He suggested, carefully choosing his words. Aware of the ticking time bomb beside of him.

I laughed. “I think Jacob already has his hands full with his leech-lover.” Sue glared at me then quickly looked away. Sue sat somewhere in the middle, she believed the Cullen’s were good people, despite being bloodsuckers. But at the end of the day, if she ever had to pick a side, it would always be us.

”I didn’t think Jacob was talking to Bella?” Harry pressed on.

I huffed. “He’s not. But he _never_ stops thinking about her. He tried to force himself to imprint on her.” 

Harry inhaled deeply, shaking his head. “Those things can’t be forced.. If the spirits wanted Jacob with Bella, they would’ve chose _her_ the second he laid eyes on her after his first shift.” He paused for a moment. “Spending time around Sam should’ve made him realize that..” 

“Can we talk about something else?” Sue butted in. Sue respected Sam and his leadership, but Sam shattered her daughters heart. Leah Clearwater was Sams first love, his high school sweetheart, hell, they planned to get married before Sam imprinted on Emily. She also teetered somewhere in the middle between Leah and Emily, considering they’re second cousins. What a mess. 

No sooner than Sue spoke, Rachel walked down into the small kitchen. She wore an olive long sleeve shirt, lace hemmed around the top. The ivory colored lace paired beautifully with her copper skin. Her dark hair now curled, falling down her back. My eyes trailed down to her legs, hugged by a pair of black leggings.

My imagination began to run wild as she walked toward Sue. I swallowed hard, running my hands anxiously up and down my thighs. The very sight of Rachel Black drove me insane. 

Sue wrapped an arm around Rachel, giving her a half hug. “You look beautiful.” She smiled warmly. “Just like your mom.” 

Rachel smiled in return, breathing in slightly. I watched her lips as she spoke. “Thanks, Sue.” Rachel pulled out a chair across from me, not looking directly at me until she plopped down in her seat. “You look beautiful.” I spoke nervously, realizing Sue and Harry were exchanging an all-knowing grin. 

“Thanks.” She smiled softly at me, a small dimple resting on her cheek. The dimple caught my attention, it was a small detail I hadn’t noticed before. I’d spent so much time losing myself in Rachel’s eyes that small details slipped through my vision. There were so many other details I wanted to discover, so much unknown territory I couldn’t wait to get lost in. 

Desperate to get away from the suffocating thoughts of Rachel Black, I excused myself from the table for a moment and escaped to the small bathroom at the end of the hallway. My head almost hit the doorframe as I entered, so I made a mental note to duck when I was ready to leave the enclosed space.

I turned the nob on the outdated sink, allowing cold water to hit my fingers. I took a handful of water and splashed my face, then running some through my hair. My body temperature combined with the heat I felt for Rachel made me want to crawl into the bath tub and submerge myself in the cool water. 

Muffled conversation filled the small house, the bathroom door acting as a barrier between me and the few people sitting in the kitchen. All of them knew what I was, what I was capable of, besides Rachel.

I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall. Trying to keep myself from throwing up or passing out. Either one would echo throughout the small house, so I took a few deep breaths and looked back in the mirror. _Get it together, Paul_. 

A new voice flooded the kitchen as I opened the bathroom door. Charlie Swan was here, hopefully Bella Swan wasn’t. I peeked through the crack in Jacob’s room, seeing that he was still slumped in his bed. His legs and arms hung off the twin sized bed.

If I ever won the lottery I was buying Rachel _and_ Jacob new beds. For once I did Jacob a small favor and shut his door quietly, not giving Charlie or Bella the slightest idea that Jacob was here. The kid deserved some rest.

”That’s bullshit Billy, and _you_ know it!” Charlie spat. I made my way back into the kitchen, trying to figure out the situation. Charlie was pointing his finger in Billy’s face, spewing out how miserable Bella was and he couldn’t do anything to help her.

”She needs Jacob. She needs him dammit!” He turned away from Billy now, running his hand through his hair. 

“What’s going on?” I asked curiously, peeping at Rachel before making my way to the living room. She looked dumbfounded by the whole situation.

”Oh, perfect. Can you tell me where Jacob is? He won’t talk to Bella.” Charlie sounded desperate now, weak almost. Billy must’ve said Jacob was out again, although he was just down the hall in his locker sized bedroom. 

I couldn’t keep lying to people around me, I wouldn’t let Rachel know me as the guy that lies notoriously. Harry must’ve read my expression as he walked into the living room, answering for me. “He’s out with Sam, Charlie. He’ll be back in this evening.”

Charlie huffed and shook his head. “You’re all full of shit, and you know it.” Charlie then made his way for the hallway. I stepped out in front of him, resting a firm hand on his arm. “Go home, Charlie.” I said quietly. I didn’t want Rachel to hear even though it was practically unavoidable in the small space.

Charlie looked at me in disbelief. “I’m a cop.” He said through his anger and confusion. “I haven’t done anything wrong. Go home, Charlie.” I now ordered. Even though I typically wasn’t Jacob’s biggest fan, I’d prefer that he stayed away from Bella Swan.

Jacob was young, it was hard enough that the kid was wrapped up in being a shape-shifter, he didn’t need to be wrapped up in loving somebody that _loved_ the enemy. Charlie glared at me for a long moment, then stepped away. “Alright.” He put his hands up and went for the door.

Billy, Harry and I stared at each other. They looked defeated, having to keep their lifelong friend in the dark about the mythical creatures that lived right at his doorstep. In that moment, we all resonated with one another. “Thank you, Paul.” Billy spoke up. Harry nodded in agreement, taking a seat beside of his friend.

Rachel stood in the doorway now, leaning against the wall for support. “Uh, do you want to take your car home before it gets dark out?” She looked at me shyly. “Of course.” I smiled softly, making my way toward her. I tapped Harry’s shoulder as I walked by, offering a small gesture of comfort.

Sue was cooking away at the stove, she looked focused. Sue looked as if she wanted no part of what was going on. She was content making dinner for everyone, staying on the sideline. “Paul!” She said over her shoulder. “Do you want some food to take home?” 

“Of course.” I answered, appreciating the kind offer. “It’s potato soup. Kind of last minute.. Charlie was supposed to stay, but..” She trailed off, stirring the soup in the large pot. “There’s enough for your dad, too. If he’d want any.”

”Thank you Sue. That would be great.” 

****

Rachel stirred nervously in the passenger seat of my car. Rachel always stirred nervously when she wanted to ask a difficult question. Her fingers would usually draw circles in the palm of her hand, or she’d play with the fabric of her sweater. Sometimes she’d bite her lip, or twirl her hair. 

“What’s going on between Jacob and Bella?” She asked, breaking the silence. 

“Charlie wants Jacob to fix Bella’s problems.. I don’t think he realizes that’s what he wants, but it is..” I paused for a moment, tightening my grip around the steering wheel. Rain was beginning to trickle down the windshield. “Have you ever heard of the Cullens?” I asked hesitantly. 

“The Cullen’s?”

”Yeah, they uh, moved away a few months ago. They lived in Forks. Bella got mixed up with them, dated one of the younger guys in the family. One day he decided to cut things off, left her in the woods.” Rachel was watching me speak, making the hairs stand on my arms.

”Sam and I had to find her out there. He left her in the middle of nowhere. Charlie was frantic, I mean it was just horrible.” I shook my head, looking at Rachel from the corner of my eye. She twirled her hair. 

“I overheard her and Jacob arguing the other day... He mentioned the Cullens.”

”You overheard or eavesdropped?” I teased, although the atmosphere felt heavy.

”Eavesdropped..” She admitted shamefully.

”What did you hear?” I pressed.

”Jacob called them _bloodsuckers_.” Her fingers began drawing circles along her palm. “What does that mean?” Her eyes met the side of my face yet again, causing my jaw to clench. “It’s just an old scary story. Some of the elders are superstitious.. I still wouldn’t trust any of them around _you_.”

“Why not?” She continued to pry. A long moment passed. _Well, frankly because they’d drain you dry in about five minutes._ I thought to myself. The mental image alone caused my hands to begin shaking against the steering wheel.

”I just don’t.” I said harshly. “Okay?”

”Alright...” She surrendered, sounding hurt. “I just worry about Jacob. Did he get mixed up with these people too?”

”Not exactly..” I swallowed. “Jacob loves Bella, or he thinks he does. But she’s not what he _needs_. There’s too much baggage.”

”Well,” she paused, chewing her lip. Her hand met mine on the steering wheel, cupping over it softly. The shaking started to subside from her very touch. “thank you for looking out for him, Paul. I wasn’t here all of these years, I don’t know what’s best for him right now. But _you_ do.”

My car slowly crept up the small driveway leading up to my house. The rain was falling harder by the second. The evening grew dim, giving Rachel’s face an almost blue tint under the overcast. “Of course.” I finally replied, bringing my car to a halt.

Rachel never looked away from me, but I knew the second I looked at her face I wouldn’t be able to resist touching her. 

Rachel unbuckled her seatbelt, allowing herself the room to reach out and brush her small hand against my jawline. She pulled my face closer, her gemstone eyes looking deep within me. “Paul,” her whisper felt like velvet. “Will you kiss me?”

Without answering, I brought my hands to her face, cupping her cool skin as if she were made of glass. I pressed my forehead to hers, my heart thudding so loudly inside of my chest it almost caused my ears to ring. “What if I can’t stop?” I spoke weakly.

”Then don’t.” She murmured. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I hope you enjoyed this new chapter. It’s my favorite so far, I have a lot of fun writing through Paul’s POV. Next chapter will be through Rachel’s eyes again, so stay tuned! Don't be too mad at me for the cliffhanger.


	11. Two weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to heat up between Rachel and Paul. Jacob confides in Rachel for the first time since their mother’s death.
> 
> Adult themes will take place in this chapter. If that’s not your thing, skip to the second half.

_(Rachel)_

”Then don’t.” I murmured. That’s all it took, one plea, and Paul’s hot lips were crashing into mine. 

Paul‘a kisses were fierce, awakening a hunger deep inside of me. In this very moment it felt like nobody had ever kissed me before, like nobody had ever _touched_ me. Paul’s lips trailed down my cheek, meeting my jawline sensually. Past lovers melted away from my mind, I no longer saw their faces, knew their names.   
  
All I knew was Paul. His face, the flame hidden behind his eyes when he spoke, the crinkles formed around his mouth when he’d smile. Behind my closed eyes I could still see his face, he’d surround my very dreams in my sleep, I’m sure.

My heart began beating rhythmically to his name. _Pa-ul. Pa-ul. Pa-ul._

His lips were wet against my neck, causing me to let out a small gasp of air. “ _Rachel,_ ” he moaned quietly against my skin. My heart took control of my hands, leading them away from Paul’s neck, trailing down his chest. A low, inhuman _growl_ escaped deep within his chest. 

“I _need_ you, Rachel Black.” He muttered against my collarbone. His lips left a trail of heat behind them. 

Not even a week ago I was sitting in my car back at Pullman, feeling isolated from the rest of the world. La Push would enter my mind from time to time, but truthfully I never yearned for this place until a force greater than either of us pulled me back. Suddenly I felt like I belonged somewhere, for the first time in a long time. 

I belonged here with Paul Lahote. What an odd sensation to know somebody so little, yet know them so well. When Paul stood before me, looking at me like he always did, I felt like I could see straight through him. All of his barriers, his walls, his fears would crash down at my feet. 

It was terrifying and endearing all at once. 

Would Paul be willing to come back to Pullman with me? Or would he expect me to stay here in La Push with him? My heart began to thud heavily thinking of the unknown future ahead of us. Rachel before coming back to La Push would never dare think of a future with a man she’d only known for a few days.

But this wasn’t just some man, this was Paul, who her soul craved. “ _Paul_ ,” I whispered desperately as his hand crept below the hem of my shirt. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He muttered as his hands began to travel up my bare stomach. My heart was racing, causing my entire body to pulsate. Warmth was beginning to pool at my core, a familiar reaction I had to Paul’s boiling touch.

”Paul—“ I stopped his hands with my own. The moment was perfect, but curiosity flooded my brain. “Have you done... this before?” 

A wave of shame, or embarrassment, I couldn’t exactly tell in the twilight, washed over Paul’s face. He remained quiet for a moment, hands falling back to his thighs. “I haven’t.” He admitted warily. 

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of, Paul.” I spoke softly, trying reassure him that nothing of the sort would bother me. “I’m just a little surprised is a all.”

”Surprised?” He raised an eyebrow, meeting my gaze now. 

“Yeah, I mean,” I began fumbling with my fingernails, using the cracked nail polish as some sort of nervous distraction. My cheeks flushed yet again as I spoke. “You’re beautiful, Paul. I’m sure other girls see it.”

He smiled wryly. “You think I’m beautiful?” 

“Of course I do—do you not see yourself?” I laughed softly, though no sense of humor bled through. “When I first met you, and the guys, it kind of pissed me off how cocky you seemed.”

His laughter echoed in the car. “I assure you, Rachel, none of it is to attract chicks.”

”Well what was I to think!?” I retorted, his laughter was contagious. 

“I think—that _you_ should know, nothing I do is for another woman.” He leaned in to fill the space between us, his face a mere inch from mine. His breath was hot as he spoke, condensation fogging the windows of the small car. “I only have eyes for you, Rachel Black.”

God, him just _saying_ my name was intoxicating. His sensuous voice locked me in place, unable to move, only able to breathe. “Do you want to continue?” He asked respectfully.

“Is your dad home?” I asked, my voice quavering. 

Paul’s eyes hovered to the stereo in the middle of the dash, the time reading 6:07. “We have about 30 minutes..”

Before Paul could continue, I opened my car door and ventured into the heavy rain. My shoes sinking into the wet ground beneath me. I laughed at Paul’s bewildered expression as I ran in front of his car. “Come on!” I yelled, beginning to run through the downpour to the front door of his quaint house.

Paul’s car door slamming shut was the only other noise around us. Quickly I could feel his presence behind me, yet again scooping me up into his strong arms; the swift motion caused a giggle to erupt deep from my chest. 

“You make me feel so light!” My giggling began to subside as we made our way into the front door. It creaked quietly, softly hitting the wall behind it. The inside of the house was dark, ominous almost, it felt heavy. Paul’s expression was unreadable in the black room, as he trailed through the home we finally met a small glimmer of light.

A tiny lamp illuminated what I assumed to be Paul’s bedroom. It was very minimal and boyish. Clothes were scattered across the floor, the bed unmade with a dark blue patchwork comforter. Paul softly laid me down on the bed much bigger than mine at home, my hands untied themselves from his broad neck.

Paul didn’t utter a word, the small glow of the lamp giving his russet skin a golden glow. He looked so, so beautiful in the dim light. His eyes were serious, staring right into me. I suddenly felt butterflies floating around my stomach, nervousness bubbling up to my chest. I knew what Paul planned to do, but nothing could have ever prepared me for when he did it. 

His fingers quickly loosened the button of his cut-off shorts. Allowing them to freely fall off his body. Soon after his fingers slid under the waistband of his underwear, allowing them to land on top of the cut-offs on the floor. He took a step forward, lightly kicking his clothes aside. 

The sight of Paul Lahote and all his glory standing before me nearly took my breath away. 

He was cut straight from a magazine, yet the boy was oblivious to it. He put most body-builders to shame. I suddenly felt sympathy for all of the men that spent years in a gym trying to achieve what Paul naturally had. 

My expression must’ve been easily readable, as a small smile appeared across Paul’s lips. He took a few slow steps to the bed, until he was able to cradle over top of me. The only barrier between us were my clothes, that suddenly began to feel suffocating against my body. Paul must’ve felt as if they were suffocating him, too, as he quickly began to pull my shirt over my head. 

I lifted my head and allowed the shirt to collapse into the floor beside of Paul’s limited wardrobe. The pillow beneath my head was damp from my hair. I welcomed the cold pillow, settling into it. Although the cold was short lived in Paul’s presence. 

“How do you take this off?” He asked shyly. I chuckled softly and lifted my torso off the bed. 

“There’s a few snaps on the back, you just undo those.” I looked up at him, motioning him to do so with my eyes. I could’ve easily done it in half a second, but the satisfaction from Paul undressing me was undeniable. 

Paul’s warm hands against my back made all the hairs on my body stand straight up. Sending chills down my spine and along my arms. I shivered from the very touch. The straps soon fell down my arms, and plopped into my lap. Paul tossed it aside, taking in the sight before him. 

My cheeks suddenly burned, realizing how _naked_ I was in front of him. It had been so long since anyone had seen me this way, probably a year or so. I swallowed loudly as I laid back down on the bed. 

Paul leaned down close to me, “You are so damn beautiful.” He whispered against my shivering skin. Shivering not from the cold, no, I could never be cold underneath him, but shivering from craving his _touch_ so badly. I felt as if I were in some kind of withdrawal. 

His mouth suddenly met one of the mounds on my chest, allowing it to grow firm and hard. I moaned softly at the gesture. His middle growing hard against mine, causing me to tingle and grow warm. 

“I need _you_ , Paul.” I now begged. Paul’s desperation from earlier seeped straight into me somewhere between the car and his bedroom. He whimpered at my words, his tongue continuing to dance in circles around the mound. His warm hand began to explore my body, cupping around my other breast, then trailing down my stomach. 

_Oh, God_. I thought to myself. The warmth at my core was now seeping through my underwear. His hand slowly trailed beneath the elastic of my dark pants; cupping against my middle, a finger sliding between my wet folds. “Paul.” I moaned delightfully.

His mouth ventured away from my torso, finding their way back to my own. His kisses were hot and fierce, with a newfound passion. The kisses in the car were enough to make me tremble, but these made me convulse with pleasure beneath him. 

His fingers drew circles around the sweet spot at my core, my breathing became heavy, letting out brief moans of pleasure in between. Paul’s eyes were burning with desire. In a swift motion, I put my hands on Paul’s chest, pushing him up slightly. I then used most of my strength to turn him over to his back, shifting my body weight so that I now cradled him. He grinned widely, showing his white teeth. “Wow.” He muttered.

My mouth copied Paul’s, twisting upward at the corners. I hovered over him, allowing myself to catch my breath before moving any further. My damp hair lay across Paul’s chest, his finger tucked a dark lock behind my ear. 

Now, it was _my_ turn to lead. I slowly wiggled out of my pants and underwear, eventually settling against his hard center. His fingers grasped the sheets underneath us, his chest rising with each shallow breath. “Rachel,” he choked out.

I began rubbing against him, back and forth, back and forth, watching the pleasure spread across his face. His body tensing up beneath me. I threw my head back, allowing my hair to fall down my back, the smooth motion becoming a rhythm underneath me. Eventually, I hovered my body above his, grabbing the very tip of his center, rubbing it against my entrance. 

“Rachel!” He cried out hungrily. 

Devilishly, I continued to tease him with the gesture. Allowing my wet folds to graze his tip, up and down, up and down. He forcefully grabbed my hips, bringing my body back down to his. Paul was hot inside of me, I screamed with pleasure, digging my fingernails into his chest. 

_“God!_ ” He yelled. _“Fuck, fuck!”  
_

My up and down rhythmic movements sent Paul into a frenzy, he was convulsing underneath me. His fingers digging into my hips, causing me to crash into him one last time. Paul climaxed beneath me, before I could react, before I could pull away. 

Our heavy breathing was the only noise in the house, weakly, I collapsed beside of him. Running a hand through my frizzy hair, giving myself a few moments to collect myself. Paul rose, sitting away from me. His feet hanging off the bed. 

“Are you alright?” I panted.

”Just—give me a moment.. to calm down.” His voice was husky, shaky. 

We sat like this for awhile, headlights illuminated the kitchen visible from Paul’s small bedroom. “Shit!” He said, quickly rising to his feet and shutting the door. “I forgot about my dad.” 

“Does he know?” I paused, still catching my breath. “About us?”

”Not yet.” Paul admitted.

Although I knew Paul an entire lifetime, in reality it had been less than a week. I reminded myself to not feel disappointed that his dad didn’t know about me. Anyhow, he would now, unless Paul planned to sneak me out of his window. 

I now rose to my feet, collecting my clothes off the floor. Quickly throwing on my bra, then sliding the top over my head. One pant leg on, then the other. Paul was dressed within a millisecond. I scoffed. “That’s not fair. You walk out of here looking the same! Your dad will totally know what just happened.” My brows furrowed.

Paul stepped toward me, smoothing down my hair with his hands. I crossed my arms as he did so, desperately wishing I could meet his father under better circumstances. Possibly after I’d had a shower and a hair brush. 

“Don’t mind my dad, alright?” He said softly while continuing to smooth my hair. His eyes traveled along the dark locks. “He’s had it rough since mom left—he’s pretty depressed.” 

“I get it. No judgement here.” I assured him. 

“You look beautiful.” He assured me, even though I told myself that was just the imprint talking. “Right.” I rolled my eyes as Paul turned to open his bedroom door.

The light from the kitchen illuminated the little hallway Paul’s room nestled in. His dad was fumbling with some letters at the kitchen island when we approached. “Dad,” Paul spoke quietly. “There’s someone I want you to meet..”

I shyly stood beside Paul’s tall stance. Standing side-by-side I barely reach his torso. His dad’s eyes curiously traveled from the letters to us, taking in the sight of Paul with a woman, I presumed. From his expression it was something he’d never seen before.

Paul’s fathers eyes were dark, almost obsidian. His skin was russet like Paul’s, his hair dark, balding faintly in the middle. His facial hair had specs of grey throughout. The man before us looked tired and stressed. 

“Hi,” He finally spoke. Offering a small smile. “Who are you?”

”Rachel Black.” I said with false confidence. “It’s nice to meet you.” Warmth and kindness flooded my voice.

”Name’s Michael.” He greeted himself. “Are you Billy Black’s daughter?”

I nodded. 

“Nice man,” he commented. “Only met him a few times, but he takes good care of Paul. They all do.” His eyes met mine for the first time. “I hope you will do the same.”

Paul swallowed loudly, his hand resting in the groove of my lower back. “Of course.” I answered confidently. 

The conversation faded away as Michael began sorting through the mail again, a small Tupperware container of Sue’s potato soup sat on the island in front of him. “Tell Sue I said thank you for the dinner.” He broke the silence. “And, it was nice meeting you, Rachel.” The man took the container in one hand, darting for the small hallway behind us. 

The heavy atmosphere I’d felt before suddenly made sense. Paul didn’t have much of a relationship with his father, nor obviously his absent mother. I looked up at his beautiful face, jaw clenched, he was looking at the floor. 

“Sorry that wasn’t..”

”Don’t worry about it, Paul. We all have our shit to deal with.” I rubbed his back with one hand, giving him a sincere look. “It doesn’t bother me. You have my family too, ya know.”

”I know.” He now smiled, leading me toward the front door. The light allowed me to see things clearer throughout the small home. From what I could make out from the living room, a window looked almost shattered, a small tarp draped over it from the outside. 

Long grooves carved into the wall beside it, trailing from the ceiling to the floor beneath it. The woodwork was destroyed. My brows pressed together, trying to make sense of what happened here. 

“Renovations?” I asked warily.   
  
“It happened before mom left. They got in a bad fight.” Paul answered coldly. He didn’t want to revisit whatever happened in this spot, turning tense beside of me. “Dad’s been trying to save up the money to fix it..” 

“Right. . .” I replied, trying to imagine what sort of fight would cause such cosmetic damage. Unless Paul’s dad could turn into a bear at the snap of a finger. I huffed at the mental image, mentally shooing away my outlandish thoughts.   
  
“I should get you home, Rachel.” Paul’s hand touched mine lightly. “I’m sure Billy wants you back before it gets too dark.”

”You know, I am twenty-one, right?” I teased, he laughed quietly. 

****

The ride back home with Paul was comfortably quiet. I settled into my seat, resting my head and studying the world passing by from the moving car. Paul was surprisingly a safe driver, given his ‘bad-boy’ persona. Everything he did around me was ... _safe_. Sometimes I felt tempted to pinch myself in front of him to remind him I wasn’t made of glass. 

“Did you enjoy..earlier?” He finally asked, nervousness trickling off his tongue. 

“It was great. Could you not tell?” I joked.

”I mean, I didn’t hurt you did I?” Worry flooded his voice.

”Of course not, I’m _fine_ , Paul.” I looked down at my hands. “I haven’t felt this great in a long time.”

”I was so afraid of losing control with you.. I mean, _damn_ , it felt amazing, Rach. But I was so _afraid_ of hurting you.” His voice growing weak as he trailed off.

”Why do you think you’d hurt me?” I pressed.

”I’m just—a lot bigger than you are.” 

“I’m not made of glass, Paul.” Frustration slightly rising within me. “If you ever hurt me, or, caused me some kind of discomfort, I’d tell you.” 

“I’m sorry for hovering so much. It’s the damn imprint, Rachel.” His hands were so tight around the steering wheel his knuckles began to turn white despite his dark complexion. 

“I mean, you’re going to do stuff. You’re going to fall sometimes, scrape your knee, get stung by a bee, _whatever_.” He continued, focusing on the road ahead of us. “But it still drives me crazy. And the thought of me ever causing you pain, kills me. I’d never be able to live with myself if _I_ hurt _you_.” 

“I’d never be able to live with myself, either.. I know it may not be the same for me.. Like it is you.” I bit my lip nervously. “But I never want to hurt you either, Paul.”

Silence filled the air again, leaving me to break the quiet this time. 

“Will you come to Pullman with me?” I asked softly. Paul became tense again. 

“Are you planning on leaving?” He choked out. 

“I said I’d stay a few more days, but, I have work—Dad can’t afford to support me. Him and Jacob barely make it by now..” 

“I can’t come with you.” His voice was firm, yet coated with suffering. I couldn’t form any more words, any more questions. How selfish of me to expect him to up and leave everything—everyone he knows. Even if we were tied by some _magical bloodlines_ thing. 

“Okay.” I muttered.

”You really plan to leave me? Your dad? Jacob?” The temperature around us grew warmer by the second. “They need you _. I_ need you.” He pleaded. 

“I have nothing to support myself with here.”

”I told you before that we’d figure it out.” His voice was firm. 

“Come with me.” I asked once more, a dull ache forming in my chest, already knowing his answer.

His car slowly pulled into the driveway, his silence wrapped around my heart and made it hard to breathe. Or maybe it was the temperament that kept rising around us, I cracked the car door to let in the cold night air.

”I’ll support you, Rachel. With whatever you decide to do, alright?” He wouldn’t look at me, his voice still firm. “But I _can’t_ leave right now. My dad needs me, the guys need me.. I can’t do any of this without you here now.” 

I opened the car door all the way, allowing one foot to touch the ground first as I made my way out into the cold. With one hand on the car door, I leaned in to look at Paul.

“I still have to go back and get my things..put in some resignations. That would take two weeks..” 

“I could do that.. The two weeks, I think.” He was still looking ahead, studying the small house before him. 

“Will you look at me?” I asked softly.

His head slowly turned to face me, the lamplight from the porch allowed me to see half of his marbled face. Paul looked as if he were cut from russet stone. Like a God. He was truly beautiful, and he worshiped _me._ That was enough to make me want to stay here, no matter how difficult or how suffocating it could be. 

“Two weeks, alright? Enough to get myself some extra money, so I can find something here. Or in Forks. Something local. Then I’ll be back with my things.”

He bit his lip, then shook his head in surrender. “Two weeks. I can do that.” He said aloud, as if the more he’d say it, the more it would come true. “When would you leave?” I could now feel the car shaking, his leg bouncing up and down nervously.

”Probably tomorrow if I want to make it back in time. I told my boss I’d be back Thursday.”

”Tomorrow..” he whispered to himself. “Okay.” He inhaled, his leg still shaking. “I’ll see you before you leave?” His statement sounded like a question instead.

”Of course, Paul.” My knee settled into the car seat, allowing me to lean down and plant a kiss on his warm lips. I felt his entire body shake from my touch. “Goodnight, Paul Lahote.” I whispered. 

****

Jacob sat at the kitchen table, playing with the food in front of him. As I walked in the front door, he looked up to meet my gaze. “Wow, Rach, you look like shit.”

”Gee, thanks.” I scoffed. “You don’t look that great yourself.” 

“I know.” His voice grew somber, his spoon made another lap around the bowl, the silverware making a pinging sound against the side. 

“Wanna talk about it?” I asked softly, pulling out the wobbly kitchen chair across from him. He didn’t answer as I sat down a little _too_ hard. My legs growing shaky from the events of this evening. Remembering such events in front of my _brother_ made my cheeks grow hot. 

“Is it Bella?” I asked cautiously, not wanting to be too intrusive on my brothers love life. Since he hadn’t dare intrude on mine. 

Still no answer.

”Look,” I sighed. “I think you should let her go..”

He dropped his spoon now, allowing it to clang loudly against the bowl. I flinched slightly. 

“You don’t get it, Rach.” His voice turned cold. In this moment he reminded me of Paul. I was quickly growing tired of everyone acting like I didn’t know what was going on around me. 

“I’m older than you, Jacob.” I said, roughness filling out the edges of my voice.

”So?” He scoffed.

”So, I have more life experience than you do.” I raised my eyebrows at him, shaking my head in a way that said, _Duh!_

Jacob began to play with the silverware again, sifting his soup with the spoon. Watching it plop back into the bowl, over and over. I reached over the table and snatched the spoon from his hand, droplets of soup splatting down on the table. 

“Enough with the spoon, please?” I asked helplessly. Laying it down on the tabletop beside of me. 

”Bella’s in love with me—but she doesn’t know it. I can feel it. She just, she’s still hung up on her last boyfriend.. He’s really put a dent in the whole thing.” Jacob said gruffly. 

“She’s not your imprint, Jacob..”

”Did Paul tell you that?” He huffed.

”Well—kind of. I just don’t think she’s what you need, Jake.” I met his eyes with sincerity. “I mean, you’re driving yourself crazy over this girl, who’s obviously roped up in being crazy over somebody else. I want to see you happy.”

”I haven’t been happy in awhile.” He admitted. 

“Me either...not until Paul.” My cheeks flushed pink, Jacob knew about Paul, but it was still embarrassing to talk about this stuff with your little brother of all people. Sometimes looking at Jacob though, he didn’t feel like my little brother anymore. He looked like he was pushing twenty-five. So did Paul.

I seriously still questioned what the men were drinking in the water here. 

“I’m not Paul’s biggest fan or anything,” Jacob admitted huskily. “But he does care about you, Rach.”

”I know he does..” I smiled softly.

”But you’re not going to stay here, are you?”

A moment passed. Two. Three.

”Maybe.” I finally answered. “I told Paul that I was going back to Pullman tomorrow—you know, to get my things.. start packing. I said I would put in my resignation for both jobs tomorrow. That gives me two weeks. Then I’ll come back. Figure out the rest later.” I babbled on.

Jacob laughed humorlessly. “Paul is _not_ going to last two weeks without you, Rach. If you think so you’re blind.” 

“Why wouldn’t he?” I said hastily, knowing that I may not last two weeks, either. Especially after our endeavor this evening. I craved Paul’s touch already, growing cold without his frequent, warm touch. 

“The imprint is hard to work around..” Jacob trailed off, thinking of how to talk about this stuff with his sister. Who his pack-mate imprinted on. He seriously began dreading the next patrol when he’d get to hear all of Paul’s thoughts. He already knew he’d be surrounded by private thoughts of his sister. Thinking about it caused his eyes to stray away from her before continuing. 

“He’ll need your presence so badly he won’t be able to think straight. He probably won’t sleep, or eat, or do much of anything. You probably won’t, either. It affects both of you. From what I’ve heard.”

I absorbed Jacob’s words, thinking of Paul withering away, being so helpless without my presence made me feel great sadness and guilt all at once. It wasn’t fair that he’d suffer so greatly without me, or vice versa. The thoughts of me staying in La Push forever began to creep in, which made me shudder. I quickly pushed the thoughts away, trying to change the subject.

“And you’re sure you haven’t imprinted?” I asked Jake one more time, he groaned.

”Positive.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed my new chapter! I wasn’t going to write anything like this yet in the story, but it felt right, and as always it will come in handy later. I’m going to do my best to include some more Jacob/Rachel bonding moments throughout my story. 
> 
> Take care! :)


	12. Old Scary Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob visits Bella for the first time since their brief argument. Jacob grows desperate for Bella to remember the story of his people.

_(Jacob)_

Having one of my sisters home meant the only bathroom in the house would be occupied ninety-nine percent of the time. Still, it somehow wasn’t as bad as having Rachel _and_ Rebecca here at once. Throw mom into the mix and I’d have to take the responsibility of building another bathroom onto the house.   


Still probably wouldn’t be available, ever. I huffed.

”Rach,” I said against the closed door. “I’m going out for the night.”

”What time is it?” She asked, sounding like she had a mouthful of toothpaste. 

“Uh, ten.”

”Is Paul going out, too?” 

“Probably. Want me to give him a post-card that says ‘ _Wish you were here_.’?”

”Funny.” She teased. The faucet once again began to run water. I grumbled down the hallway, feeling bad for dad’s water bill next month. 

****

Emily’s lights were still on when I arrived, per usual. Emily kept the light on in the kitchen for us pretty much always. The kitchen light faded into the living room as well, given it was a pretty open space. We were free to grab something to eat, then crash on her couch if we ever needed to. 

She smiled sleepily as I slid the glass door open. “Hi, Jacob.” She said happily. “Are you hungry?”

Jared, Embry, Quil and Paul sat at her kitchen table. Jared looked happy, Embry looked hungry, Quil tired, and Paul... _nervous._

“Sure.” I lied, barely keeping my soup down from earlier. It was great of course, because it was Sue’s, and Sue was always a great cook. I appreciated her coming over and taking care of us so frequently. But because my brain wouldn’t quick doing laps around thoughts of Bella Swan. 

Emily handed slid a plate of banana bread down the countertop. “I saved it for you. You owe me.” She glared toward Embry, who was still scarfing down his own two plates. 

“Thank you, Em.” I said, taking my plate and reaching for the empty seat. 

Sam entered the room, giving me a small smile, then making his way for Emily. His arm slid across her back, beginning to plant kisses on the top of her head, to her forehead, then down the scarred side of her face. I looked away, much too intimate of a gesture for me to continue watching. 

Paul’s leg was shaking nervously under the table. 

“You alright dude?” Jared blurred out, mouthful of banana bread.

Paul’s mind must’ve been somewhere else, until Jared’s voice snapped him back to reality. “Uh, yeah. You?”

”I’m good. You’re just shaking the entire foundation of the house.” Jared joked. Jared always picked fun at Paul, usually Paul would pick back, but not tonight. 

I began eating, trying to focus on the banter around me to keep my own mind away from things I’d rather not think about.

_Bella, Bella, Bella_

As I chewed my food, I started thinking of all the ways I could sneak away tonight and sneak into Bella’s bedroom. We haven’t spoke since she came over a few days ago, which wasn’t a pleasant visit, considering I left her crying in the rain.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid_

Sam would definitely notice my absence. Sam wanted me to be his second, hell, Sam was patiently waiting for me to take my rightful seat as the Alpha. I felt like all their eyes were on me at _all_ times. 

Keeping all of my secrets away from my sister was even harder. Truthfully it wasn’t my place to tell her any of this, it was Paul’s. But sometimes when I was alone in the middle of the night, and Rachel was still scurrying around in her bedroom, I wanted more than anything to creep down the hallway and tell her everything. Just to confide in her, so she could tell me everything was going to work itself out.

Having Rachel around made me softer somehow. Maybe it was because she looked so much like mom, mixed with a little bit of dad, but mostly mom. It brought me comfort when she entered the room. Along with Paul, I was dreading her two week departure tomorrow. Maybe I didn’t dread it nearly as Paul, considering he didn’t touch his food, or join any conversation, or do much of anything.

Embry reached for Paul’s banana bread when Emily slapped his hand with an old, wooden spoon.

 _Crack_!

”Ouch, God!” He wailed. “That shit hurts, Em!” Embry grabbed his wrist, wincing from the welp forming on his bare skin. Thankfully for rapid healing, he was fine in a few seconds.

”You really use that to your advantage don't you?” Embry asked her, glaring at the threatening spoon.

”Someone has to.” She mused. Her eyes turned sympathetic towards Paul, which was rare for anyone to do, because it was Paul. Paul never cared much for anyone or anything except us and his dad.

Rachel really turned Paul’s world upside down, and I wasn’t even sure that she realized it. If she wasn’t my sister, maybe I’d feel some sympathy for him, too. But Rachel _was_ my sister, and the thought of the guy, who’s somewhat like my brother, sitting across from me feeling her up made me shake. 

I knew that Paul didn’t care for me much, because he didn’t care for Bella much at all, because she _loved_ a Cullen. Who was a filthy bloodsucker. That should make me not care for Bella much at all, too, but it didn’t. My head began to spin. I shoveled more banana bread in my mouth to try and forget the annoying, lingering thoughts of Bella Swan. 

****

Once the night grew old, Paul’s nervousness began to bleed through the surface. We’d been shifted for about two hours now, patrolling around First and Third Beach. He had a good fight at least, lasting this long. Trying to hide his thoughts of Rachel from the rest of us, trying to hide the thoughts of her from her brother. 

Paul’s thoughts of Rachel were filled with desperation, affection, longing, _lust_. 

_“God, Paul, please don’t think of my sister like that right now_.” 

“ _Sorry, sorry. I’ll try to stop._ ”

A few moments of silence passed, until Paul’s head began thumping rhythmically.   
  


_Ra-chel, Ra-chel, Ra-chel_

I whined, looking over at Sam. His wolf form was huge, but I stood taller. The very thought of claiming my rightful Alpha status seemed very tempting just so I could order Paul away from my sister. 

_“Jacob, you know that’s not possible_.” Sam interjected. 

_“Do I have to stay here and listen to him think about my sister? For one night can I just do something else?_ ” I begged the Alpha standing before me. 

_“Just this once_.” Sam allowed. I turned away from the dark wolf.

” _Jacob_ ,” his voice interrupted my thoughts. “ _If you go to Bella’s, you’re still not to tell her about this. That’s an order.”_

Yet again I’d contemplated taking my rightful Alpha position, _then I could tell Bella whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted._ Sam huffed in annoyance, filling the silence that occupied his space. 

_Ra-chel, Ra-chel, Ra-chel_

_****_

The light in Bella’s bedroom was dim, but still on. A warm glow hugged the ceiling. I picked up a few pebbles off the ground, throwing them to her window, they pecked at the glass softly.

_Peck, peck, peck_

i waited another moment. One, two, three _._

 _”Jake?”_ She breathed _. “_ You scared the shit out of me.” 

“Step back, I’m coming up.”

Although confused, Bella backed away from the window. Allowing me to swiftly bounce my weight quietly off the side of her house, swinging up by the branch of a tall oak tree. My feet landed quietly on her bedroom floor, her eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“Hey.” My voice hoarse.

”Hey.” Her voice soft.

 _Bella, Bella, Bella._ My heart thudded.

”I’m sorry.” I huffed, walking toward her. Met with her fist on my stomach, stopping me in my tracks. “I wish I had a better explanation, believe me I do.”

I now walked past her, sitting down on the edge of her bed. She spun on her heel to glare down at me. “I hate this.” She ran a hand through my hair, I closed my eyes, wishing that she’d kept her hand there a moment longer.

”I wish I could tell you everything, but I can’t...” I inhaled. “You have no idea how tight I’m bound.”

A short moment of silence passed, Bella still standing before me. Her arms laid perfectly still beside of her body, my eyes began to study her figure. A shimmering patch of skin on her forearm caught my eye. I grabbed it gently to examine closer, a bite from a _bloodsucker_. 

Bella tried to hide the bite with her opposite hand nervously.

”The worst part is you already know!” I spat at her. Her eyebrows pulled together, forming a harsh line across her forehead.

I collected myself. “Bella,” I whispered. “Do you remember when we walked on the beach at the reservation?”

”The story. . .about the cold ones.” She nodded.

”I guess I can see why that’s the only part you remember.” I said hastily. Bella looked hurt by my words, unable to look, I turned away from her. Studying small trinkets on her dresser, switching off a small lamp beside of her ancient desktop. 

“I have to go, Bells.” I murmured, heading for the window. In the dark, I allowed myself one more look at her. “Please, try to remember the other part of the story. It’ll be so much easier _if_ you remember.”

As I catapulted myself from her bedroom window, I could hear “Jake—wait!” softly in the distance. Bella had no idea the strength I had, what I could endure. Or maybe she did, considering she ran me in circles over and over again. 

Once finally safe behind the forest line, I shifted back into my bronze, four legged self. Sam would still be patrolling Third Beach, I currently felt calmest in his company. Despite the ‘you’ll-probably-take-my-Alpha-position-soon’ tension that grew heavier between us by the day.

Inner monologues began to bounce around my head.

 _”I’m starving_!” Embry shouted.

” _My mom is going to be so mad when I come home late, again_.” Quil sounded defeated.

” _Emily, Emily, Emily_.” Sam thought somberly.

” _Kim, Kim, Kim_ ” Jared thought longingly.

” _Rachel, Rachel, Rachel_ ” Paul cried desperately. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet chapter here! I wanted to do something different and see things through Jacob’s mind for a little while.


End file.
